my nice day!

Norko Attacks!

2010-11-23T16:22:00.005+09:00

oh shiz...

blet blet blet

2010-11-20T23:50:00.010+09:00

in lieu of explaining why it's taken months to post, a pic from gangwon province's daegwalleong sheep ranch to sum it up. thanks to dan phan et al for the prompt!

oh, and i got me a one-eyed pup! more to come... sooon? xo

dear sassy

2010-06-11T13:56:00.000+09:00

who introduced me to at least three illegal substances, who taught me how to steal, and who only laughed (but then quickly forgot) when she noticed her 15-year-old brother was wearing leopard-print/military green thong underwear.

the king's personal effects

2010-02-10T23:46:00.003+09:00

the toiletry bag.

henceforth when asked to describe him, i will simply say, "fancy lotion + candy."

baby it's cold outside

2010-01-15T21:51:00.006+09:00

i love this time of year (click for larger)!

taking off for a 2-week stint in jesusland tomorrow.

but before i leave, here's a lil 'tis the season pic. whenever it gets really cold (and it's been really cold), korea's armed forces take their shirts off to show how tough they are. as a fervent leg fetishist, i think really tough guys take their pants off, too.

maybe next year!

so, which one do you like best?

remember this time last year?
or the good ole days of 2007?

happy new year!

2010-01-01T20:30:00.004+09:00

hark! it's the first sunrise of the year! the decade!

a few days on korea's southeastern coast without a rental car or kaopectate proved a disastrous combo. that said, highlights included taking in a very pretty 1st sunrise with his majesty just south of gampo, and lots of good historic sights and one good meal in gyeongju...

on that note, while they can take credit for being the first to unite the korean peninsula, the home of korea's shilla dynasty cannot claim the land's finest cuisine. geesh.

oh, happy new year to you and yours!

goodbye world!

2009-12-31T10:24:00.002+09:00

hark! after spending a bizzy morning doing things totally unrelated to my job here at the tourism cubicle, i'm leaving town in 6 minutes to meet the king and head on down to gyeongju and then gampo to watch the new years sunrise tomorrow AM in typical korean jan. 1 fashion.

so, in lieu of a proper new year's post, wishing you all a safe and fun eve and it's really ominous to start the next decade wretching and confused so drink plenty of water tonight. xo

yeouido park is cold.

2009-12-29T10:11:00.000+09:00

kiddie pool in the off season.

a water feature in the off season.

a mini golf course (not to be confused with a miniature golf course) in the off season.

riverside stage contraption in the offer.

funky visor.

it was a bitter cold day, but i took a walk around yeouido island (where kbs and most of seoul's big financial services bldgs live) the other day to check out the new park that wraps around its edge. this was the huge park that they totally dug up to make a... new huge park (it's really obvious that korea's current prez is a former construction executive).

there's a curious lack of trees and the extensive concrete work looks pretty shoddy up close, but there are some OK features, too. but it was also a reminder of how managed korean public design is these days. e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g--- m-u-s-t--- b-e--- m-a-n-a-g-e-d-!-!-

happy hanooka!

2009-12-27T17:20:00.002+09:00

do you celebrate hanooka?

i love america's military footprint

2009-12-26T00:54:00.001+09:00

the american military is almost like magic!

let's say the king isn't the world's best planner. and maybe he means well but is a bit of a procrastinator. imagine his shock when he couldn't get dinner reservations at a nice place for christmas when he called on christmas eve!

on! and judy doesn't live here. that's when the u.s. military saves the day (he and i have re-enacted mcarthur's incheon offensive many times! ... huh?) anyway, thanks to america's military occupation of korea, in a clutch with christmas almost in the shitter, i called my new friends at the dragon hill deli, and after placing an order for real down home fixins' at 10:30, they were ready for pick up at noon at gate 17 of the yongsan military garrison.

who ate this meal for 10? just us, but leftovers were always the best part of t-day and x-mas, no?

'tis the greetings!

2009-12-25T19:27:00.000+09:00

born again!

i love you, the song.

2009-12-15T00:01:00.000+09:00

it's a song!

awww look what the king made for me!

just kidding. but part of you believed it. actually, it's a birthday song from the 4.5-yr-old baby einstein, sent back during the birthday days. she's clearly a genius. and it's special because it's perhaps the first time the "i love you" isn't followed by "i want a snack" or "buy me a puppy." no, buy ME a puppy!

puppytime

2009-12-12T08:15:00.002+09:00

he's older than me but hair covers wrinkles.

here's me awkward with my dog, big red.

actually, no. i'm at the hongdae puppy café with the king. but mark marsha's words, come january travels back from jesusland, it's puppy time!

i'm preparing the newspaper for patricia the rescue shitzoo as we speak!

snapshot #24: yangsuri (and jeolla thieves)

2009-12-10T19:36:00.005+09:00

yangsuri: where two han rivers become one.

let's not talk about neglected blogs today. instead, let's talk about expensive cameras being stolen on the train from south jeolla province and slowly nodding one's head religious zealot-style when that thieving jeolla-man develops multiple sclerosis or a painful chronic pissing disease in karmic retribution.

shasta may no longer be with me, but iphoto has 16,305 snapshots by the entry-level nikon dslr that made daddy proud!

mother always told me not to trust jeolla people... (not really. it was prolly was one of them de-sensitized seoulites, anyhow.)

when people make maps lie

2009-12-08T23:28:00.002+09:00

that's a mighty big park!

i think map lies are the worst kind of lies. do you agree?

in the top right of the satellite image is the southern reaches of nam mountain park, which rises out of the city's center and is perhaps the massive city's best known greenspace.

and yet, based on the naver (most popular koko search engine) map, it appears that there is a much larger park with dramatic mountain slopes to the southwest of namsan that are probably home to korean tigers and maybe even mountain cheetah. upon seeing this heretofore unfamiliar (and massive) park space in the middle of seoul, i was confused.

hath i know not my home?

now take a look at the google maps version. it appears that korean search engines can place a retractable park hat atop the entire yongsan military garrison to nature-camouflage sensitive installations from view by the crazzies to the north. because, you know... they don't have google in north korea...

snapshots #22+23: guro-gu

2009-08-10T00:01:00.001+09:00

pretty in orange and beige.

when you're feeling overwhelmed by seoul's urban revitalization projects, i suggest heading over to guro district, where dilapidated housing doesn't get razed and where freeways still stand in the middle of polluted stream beds. still makes for pretty, eh?

for better or worse, this ain't no cheonggyecheon.

delicious cool piss.

2009-08-09T12:01:00.003+09:00

a chaser of choice while at a daejeon bar.

i'm not the first anglophone to enjoy this delicious plum juice, whose name sounds an awful lot like "cool piss."

thanks, shilla.

2009-07-23T00:17:00.002+09:00

thanks to language barriers, the king and i prefer to communicate via espresso art.

a birthday is a great excuse to do the shilla lunch buffet, a 60,000-won ($48) date with painful gluttony. ma tum feels permanently stretched. happy birthday queen abby! xo

new book: portraits of half-closeted, half-korean, mexican pretenders

2009-07-22T05:25:00.003+09:00

pardon the indulgence, but decent pix are getting harder to come by.

proving my point, this one by mike tauber is from 2006 or so. it was taken as part of a goofy picture book of people who were mixed race based on 2000 u.s. census-approved racial categories (that's right, you white half-latinos or chinee-bangladeshis don't count!). much like coffee table pictorials of albino africans or green-eyed chinee, there's something pretty 1990 about it... or maybe i've just got an especially acute case of hybrid malaise. who buys this book, anyway?

the book (available for preorder on amazon.com), came to my attention while on the impromptu jesusland tour last week. pops' wife's daughter, who is also featured, came on by and gave me the head's up.

sure they didn't get my permission to publish the pic, but i don't care. besides being reacquainted with my old boobs and a time and place when i could wear holed jeans in public (aka not seoul), it's funny to see how quickly i've become a super flamer. clearly, this photo was in the waning days of my mexican identity dynasty.

snapshot #21: pimatgol fare

2009-07-21T22:02:00.004+09:00

yum.

in lieu of actual content, another pix.

a coupla weeks back, a new friend prospect and ate us some fried fish, bindaetddeok (빈대뗙) and some delicious makgeoli rice wine in pimatgol, a lil stretch of 600-year-old alley that's being rapidly destroyed. created to avoid the main drag, where commoners had to stop and prostrate themselves every time a fancy man rode on by, today's seoul apparently has no room for ugly and wonderful "avoid horse alley"s. r.i.p.

where am i?

2009-07-09T08:02:00.003+09:00

where am i?

i love this photo and caption on today's nytimes homepage.

impromptu jesusland!

2009-07-09T00:44:00.009+09:00

is impromptu jesusland better than no jesusland at all?

apparently i'm at that age when one's parents have catastrophic illness since i'm flying out in a few hours to help pops convalesce after an aneurysm/stroke. i don't know the difference yet. early signs suggest he had the good kind of good kind of stroke, which is... good. regardless of our ability/willingness to deal, perhaps nothing else ushers in middle age more than beginning the parent care biznass. that's why we're here, right? those of you in the priors, celebrate! those of you in the know (ms. californication), well... i dunno what to say.

i've been bizzy. (clearly)

2009-07-07T18:11:00.003+09:00

i love japanese gay porn so much.

i imagine most aliens are tops. it's pretty toppy to leave your galaxy in search of new worlds to conquer.

gapers

2009-06-18T19:28:00.005+09:00

owls are totally strange.

sure, we all hate twitter (iran notwithstanding) but i chuckled at this page, which popped up after i attempted to check the account of someone who subscribed to my never been updated account. both the initial line for all us gawkers (fancy that... twats are more likely to be TMI producers and consumers!!) and the lil indulgence memo at the bottom. the use of "juicy" ruined it tho. only mr kim can pass that.

the king is safe

2009-06-17T05:01:00.003+09:00

college dorm?

speaking of the king, over the weekend i accompanied the fam to where manpup will be stationed for the better part of two years (who is this strange old man who keeps stalking our son?).

after 2 months and a day a carefully stage managed reunion was frustrating. phone and visiting privileges will start soon, which means a bittersweet end to the almost daily letter exchange, that while forced upon us, was special. maybe i should don a red and white checkered hankochief, flex a gun and help the war effort?

"little amurrika" was complete with lots of white and black people who were strangely polite to we korean hosts in passing. military ain't all bad. we ate us some grubbinz at the most authentically u.s.a. establishment i seen since moses lake. mmmm porterhouse chop with bbq sauce + 2 sides: baked potato no cheese and collared greens.

in other news, i'm taking some emotional cues from don draper of mad men, season 1.

komos, part 2

2009-06-16T22:28:00.004+09:00

here are two recent articles i wrote about komos for the gaysian supersite, fridae.com. (and yes, i realize i've lost the ability to write coherently. yes, i'm worried.)

10 yrs of korea queer culture festival
your complete guide to koko trannies
(translations by the king!)

komos, part 1

2009-06-13T20:05:00.015+09:00

it's that time of year again. i arrived at the 10th annual korea queer culture festival cranky and ready to have all of my korean homo pathologies confirmed. but then i saw the boys and girls of rateen, the korean teen queer group did their very naughty dancing on stage and the 50-something guy who looked just like any other cranky ajussi (middle aged man)... except for his bright red lipstick and 50-something boyfriend.

back in love.

a lil french, a lil harajuku, a lil amish... global korea!

this doesn't really make sense, but seems like it should!

a coupla homos representing one of korea's oldest gay men's groups, chingusai ("between friends")

prep

you gotta fight for your rights! (but please don't take my photo) a ubiquitous, frustrating and... i guess... understandable part of korean "pride" events is that most people don't want their pics captured.

[photo removed by request of someone on behalf of someone else on behalf of someone else else who thought those pictured probably wouldn't want to be identifiable. welcome to korea.]

restored my faith in (korean) homo humanity. founded 2 years prior by two homo teens, the 2,000 member strong youth queer group rateen is helping ensure the next generation of komos won't be as messed up in the head as the last!

i'd take buddhists over christians any day.

thanks, dad.

ok, time to get ready for part two: bootyshaking with the ladies at the pulse after party. wish my special man could come ㅜ ㅜ

let's make connections: a post on 2007 kqcf

snapshot #20: flying over gyeonggi province

2009-06-09T09:39:00.004+09:00

fun in flight

filming for an arirang tv travel show included flying a ULM over some fields in gyeonggi province and over the west sea in anmyeondo. despite a horrible producer, it was fun.

new friends

2009-06-06T08:20:00.005+09:00

my soldier

i'm quite green thumbed. at age 12 i co-founded a plant company and went solo the year after. the biz - the rolling bay company - sold seeds, daffodil bulbs and bedding plants to rich ladies around the puget sound (seattle area).

my three terrace planters bring me much joy. it's been challenging to adapt to seoul's wacky climate, but still fun. i just bought 6 tomato plants earlier this week. but to my horror, my plants are always infested with some kind of disgusting insect. i don't know if this is what happens when there's a general lack of greenery in an area or a petty god, but my plants are super buggy.

the real tragedy has been my korean pine. the gorgeous young thang looked marvelous last year, before a lacewing infestation almost killt it. as it sickened, entire branches had to be removed and a curious blanket of tiny grains formed beneath its boughs... turns out it was millions and millions of tiny caterpillar craps.

hate

these bastards are back again this year, but i've done my cruelest best to drown, crush, and cast them from my balcony. their screams bring me joy.

nasty

the other persistent foe are disgusting aphid colonies that ravage my chrysanthemums and, i'm so sorry to say, my pal pine. the little monsters park their teeth into the new growth and suck away at baby's life force.

i'm loathe to use anything toxic to kill these pests, but the insecticidal soap i've been using is only mildly effective. consequently i have great appreciation for my two best friends (no, not whiskey and sim city. that was last year and didn't help). my friends are the chatty little finches who come by each morning to snack on the aphid's fat asses and a new sect of mormon ladybirds!

my chinese american ladybugs

i don't know their real names, so i've given them chinese american ones. while koko americans tend to be named after god things (aka esther, grace, jason), and japanese after... well, japanese names, the chinee seem to have a predilection for obscure, pompous british-ish names from the 19th century. why are they mormon? i don't know.

the second generation

the good news are these little yellow pods of ladybird eggs. i'm so happy for Amabel and her mystery inseminator. Audrey-Vivian also has a pod. but poor grand Vic may be barren. anyhow, i hope you'll join me in chronicling the lives of these pious chinee.

the seoul of design

2009-06-05T22:41:00.005+09:00

here's a video of various design projects (including the previous post's bridge) seoul city has embarked on, via my kbs show, seoul scene.

snapshot #19: pretty bridge

2009-06-04T22:28:00.001+09:00

summertime

i'm the worst blogger in the world.

anyhow, after two dry runs, on the third time i made my way down to the banpo bridge 'tis what i saw.

rip president roh

2009-05-29T20:49:00.006+09:00

rip

on may 29 the state funeral for former president roh mu-hyun was held at gyeongbok palace in downtown seoul. after an aggressive, politically-tinged investigation into an alleged bribery scheme, mr. roh leaped from a cliff near his home in the korean countryside. in the days since, millions have paid their respects, including hundreds of thousands who came to the came to the area around city hall, donning yellow, the color from his 2003 presidential campaign.

one of many tribute altars.

in familiar korean fashion, mourners lamented their detachment, even disdain for the man while in office, but a collective grief has overtaken a nation now grateful for the self-described "idiot" president who brought true democracy and championed the causes of society's less fortunate. as a self-educated attorney (no college but passed the bar), he fought for the rights of abused student protestors. as president, he worked to improve relations with north korea and was just one of two south korean presidents who isn't described as being a dictator. many agree that the current president, lee myung-bak, is moving toward the bad ole days.

suicide is viewed differently here. i don't know enough about fmr president roh to offer a balanced critique of his presidency. in my first months here, i recall the heavy critique and embarrassment many voiced about it. but overnight, roh's image has been transformed into self-less hero. i've heard korean fathers say his suicide was a logical response to a husband and father who felt he could not protect his family, as the prosecution's probe widened to his wife and children. many others are fearful for the future of soko's young democracy.

this academic we interviewed blames herself for not protecting roh.

a couple of days earlier, my kbs co-host abby rhodes and i interviewed a few mourners for our show. listen here

jumpin rope wit jesus

2009-05-27T22:46:00.005+09:00

no rope talent

just back from another of my occidental jesusland tours. the ill-timed trip was made possible by a speaking invite, which was rescinded last minute in very poor form. anyhow, popular hops were made in chicago, seattle and tokyo with a special stop in los angeles to see mr. brian, half-chinee and jericho (the latter pleased jesus very much). actually, the lovely company during the california stop salvaged an otherwise ill-fated trip. oh well, not all homecomings are sweet.

hi!

2009-04-23T18:40:00.014+09:00

"in mild" what? ... pain? shock? confusion that you try to solve this problem by posting it online? go to a vet asshole.

inspired per usual by mr. kristin st. hayden (it just sounds better) i decided to wear a maniacal smile at all times today. after all, life is good. but i was confronted by no less than three self-laughing crazies. so, like a dopamine-tapped flight attendant, four hours later daddy came home and needed juice.

it's a good story, but with my real daddy + wife visiting last week, i made a big ole batch of asian pear n' panapple sangria. well, the anticipated guests never made it to my apt. so it's been job 1 licking my red-stained tupperware tub clean. too bad the king isn't hear to reap the rewards of his invention: the booze-infused impaled strawberry.

tomorrow is 2 yrs in korea day!

i'm learning how to fly tomorrow as part of my big debut on a korean tv show. in the meantime, it's time to write about local trannies. xo

spring here

2009-04-15T13:38:00.002+09:00

about damn time.

on monday the south korean army drafted the king. i'm a bit in the doldrums but keepin on here in ko-town.

exodus pix #4: germama

2009-04-03T09:34:00.001+09:00

cooler here than how it really looks!

it's so painful. the more i recall my european travels the more i'm glad i'm no longer there. but germany was a (the?) highlight. i appreciated berlin's grit, and essen's manfriends. enough already. pics to follow.

oh, one more thing. i wrote a post on the korean diaspora in berlin on my korean travel blog. see it hurr.

the cologne cathedral and i are in love. i haven't seen anything as impressive of late. i don't even like god!

the crazier than thou tascheles building 'n grounds is trying really really hard to make a statement.

the cool part about staying in a hostel that was formerly part of the north korean embassy is the snapshots of the dear leader in his jump suits and chanel shades. i'm way too old to be staying in hostels.

this day o' domestic bliss at jonstoph haus seemed more appropriate than snapshots taken moments after i arrived, parked my ass on their chair, and we finished off more than one bottle of chivas. i still have an 8 inch scar on my arm from what followed.

team kymm solidarity

2009-03-27T00:01:00.000+09:00

members of team kymm's south korean chapter.

soko homo power for ms. body by bd kymm on her byg day. we're so excited for your new start!! love u.

she spots

2009-03-24T16:17:00.005+09:00

well, now i know where i want to park.

as reported on today's edition of "seoul calling" on kbs with abby and matt, seoul city is creating 7,500 parking spots just fer tha girls. sure, they'll be close to elevators and be lit 24-hours for security's sake, but my favorite explanation is this quote from the korea times:

the spaces will be painted pink with emblems of women [arguable] in the center. the special parking lots will be longer and wider than normal parking spaces. [emphasis and commentary mine]

i assume they mean "slots" or "spots" not "lots." anyway, ummm... why? cause women can't drive? i haven't noticed any significant difference in driving talent by sex in korea. i have, however, realized that asians drive so much better in asia than they do in the usa. it must be the racism.

in other transportation segregation by sex news, previous plans to introduce she-only subway cars came and went without me seeing any carriages sans men grinding against hapless females during rush hour. qu'est qui s'est passé? (sorry for the gratuitous french. in apology, please accept this tagalog, courtesy of google translate: ano ang nangyari?) given the grope stories i've heard about (mostly not in tagalog), i wonder where that idea went. maybe to the korea sparkling global hub where every other defunct idea goes.

anyhow, most korean drivers have a oneness with their always spotless vehicles (that are invariably either black, white or silver) than any generalized people matt's met to date. their maneuverability is awesome. sorry for the lack of coherence. xo

smoothies and menstruation go together

2009-03-17T18:08:00.007+09:00

a really cool free gift.

it felt like spring today. and by that i mean it was warm and the sky was filled with horrible dust particles from china. but after seoul's siberian winter the mild weather felt like smoothies were in order. and smoothie king has this great promotion right now. buy a smoothie and get a free maxi pad! and it has wings! and since there we were two dudes together she gave us two free maxi pads. awesome! and is it just me or is it really gross to think about menstruation while drinking a smoothie? i love korea!

unsolicited emails, part 1

2009-03-17T00:57:00.000+09:00

of course i am.

just received this email. in case you're wondering, i have no idea what she's talking about. tho i'm quite tempted to do a crash course in texan butterflies and try my luck. i wonder if they'd pay for roundtrip airfare from korea for "the butterfly man"?

UPDATE 3/17: i emailed her back to say i was interested, but located in korea. she said it was too far. it's probably a good thing. i did a little research and there are a LOT of butterflies in texas.

exodus pix #3: stockholm

2009-03-06T09:52:00.005+09:00

"nesta... stockholm!"

since i'm such a shitty blogger, and thanks to impatient transplant germaphiles, all i can assemble is exodus pics encore. but before allemagne, here's stockholm and vicinity. it was really cold. really dark. but still a lovely city with smart and pretty people.

hot.

winter recess in stockhom. no, really. those are children playing outside in reflective vests at 3 pm.

the moderna museet displays an impressive collection of modern art in simple exhibits that don't try too hard. the adjoining architecture museum had great exhibits on local design as well as photos of gaudi's cathedral in barcelona, not to mention a great gift shop.

the lil island of gamla stan was fun. disneyland x2 in what already looked a bit like disneyland. sorry, i know this is why people hate americans.

gorge door.

as luck would have it, i met a swede for a hot second in korea and invited him to my birthday dinner. 2 months later i'm staying at his home, no matter that he was traveling at the time. his house was way out west. and like my london couchsurfing experience, it was great to see life outside perfectville downtown. the tram was filled mostly with middle eastern and african immigrants. totally not the aryan swedes i had expected.

another snapshot from the hood.

mmmm jeju

2009-02-17T01:22:00.004+09:00

a magical (and secret?) place near the darangshi oreum on jeju island.

just got back from jeju island. i admit that years of korean gushing about the place... "it's korea's hawaii! it's korea's bali! it's paradise!" had me rolling my eyes. of course it's none of those, but rather a spectacular place on its own merit. can't wait to post trip pix (and go back) soon!

happy v-day

2009-02-14T05:26:00.005+09:00

happy v-day y'all.

my sister sent this to me and i could have sworn they were her creations. anyhow, howdy from gimpo airport... the king and i are going to jeju island. we did a dry run yesterday but our flight was cancelled due to inclement weather. so far so good today. more posts and pics to come. xo

exodus pix #2: londontown

2009-02-07T17:33:00.003+09:00

st. paul. strikingly large. sandblasted?

to be honest, london was my least favorite exodus pit stop, but i did enjoy some remarkable jerk chicken and was thankful for the cheap internet cafés. pix pix pix.

the ubiquitous surveillance was creepy.

mmmm urban planning! a highlight was the (expensive) transport museum. did you know the word "bus" was first used in london? an abbreviation of the latin "omnibus", meaning "for everyone."

compared to paris's seine, the thames is a real river.

no british napoleon means poor city planning. downtown london is nutz.

met these fine specimens~ a malaysian studying at the london school of economics and two aussie lassies. here we are on a really cold night sitting on big wooden benches outside on the street. it seemed like a curious place to drink a pint. so we did.

snapshot #18: gyeongbok palace. still pretty in the dead season

2009-02-06T00:01:00.000+09:00

good lawd korea can be pretty when it tries. on the gyeongbok palace compound last wednesday with the king (click for larger).

man plan: long live the king!

2009-02-05T00:01:00.005+09:00

we met via a website whose name is so horrible i can't bear to share it. no, it's not jdate.com. and no, i'm not anti-semitic. jesus christ, some artistic leeway please!

despite it's many entertaining twists, turns and slaps, i'm here to announce that manplan 2008 has ended. it's not only because it's '08 namesake has ended or because seung-ri from big bang has become too famous to return my phone calls, but because, lo and mofo beho-ld... i'm coupled.

let's harken back to that warm afternoon on sept. 17th when i wasn't fat but dressed like a convicted g.i. on work release (does that exist?). sure, i'm the mix-blooded descendant of north korean pig farmers and he's part of korea's last royal family. it's totally prince and the pauper. lucky for me, i hear that royals the world over these days rebel via shenanigans with the peasant class. thanks to his korean fluency, my washing machine got fixed a few days back.

oh, and don't worry. i'm well aware of how annoying blogging homos with boyfriends usually are. consequently, i'll do my best to seem single and will keep rapidly aging all the same.

nostalgia watch: day 1

2009-02-04T22:42:00.002+09:00

my name may be pants, but she wears 'em.

although i recall fondly the days of whiskey and ritz, tonight is more of a wine and rice kind of affair.

and in my drank state, mattypants gets a lil nostalgic (it's my infrequent emotion of choice). glad i'm in koko but seeing this pic tonight reminded me of the domestic bliss/torture of life in suburban chitown. samchun misses genius nieces, springer spaniel calendars, not bathing for 48 hours+, and sassy sissys...

post-norko freedom fighter

2009-02-01T15:44:00.008+09:00

i feel safer now, again (pic by the king).

there's a cool, brooklyn based-mag called theme that explores global asian culture. i had wanted to write for them but felt like my clips n tears books wasn't in order yet (that's "tears" as in rhymes with "pears" not "peers." damn homonyms.)

but jesus sensed my sloth so lo and behold i get an email from their editor who was in search of someone to interview and write an article about the very lovely choi hyun-mi (최현미). her family escaped from north korea in 2004, and three years later (at 17) she became the world boxing association's women's featherweight champion.

she's polite and confident, charming and socially agile. talking with her can feel like sparring. she's unafraid of eye contact and physically leans forward while filling silences with verbal jabs. during our interview, as i regained my wits she'd retreat with a playful compliment and a sweet smile.

anyhow, she's a perfect example of someone you want to succeed. it probably ain't kosher to post the article until it's published. but until theme's april/may issue comes out, here's a link to an nyt profile of her from last fall.

snapshot #17: snookered snow dude

2009-01-30T23:19:00.006+09:00

spent today at the taebaek snow festival in gangwon province.

wanna see more pics? i uploaded a picasa album here.

armed forces update

2009-01-28T20:05:00.001+09:00

i feel safer now.

i realize i've been playing favorites with the south korean armed forces. two years running i've posted the army mens frolicking in the snow (here and here). but soko has a diverse array of defense personnel, so today i'd like to honor my special man friends in the korean navy. despite spying a coupla flabby tummies up front (look who's talking these days), i'm really feeling the navy's navy short shorts.

exodus pix #1: paris

2009-01-27T09:03:00.004+09:00

underneath the arc de triomphe.

paris was stop #1 on my exodus from oriental jesusland holiday travel retinue. per brian's request, some (not awesome) snapshots.

clichés can be pretty, too.

my friend's friend ky invited me to a recording of her arts program on france culture (radio).

the view from the 2nd level of the tour d'eiffel (click here for larger).

the korean cultural center was awfully disappointing.

some marbles in the tulieres, near the louvre.

gayville (marais).

i like paris.

the seollal ox

2009-01-26T20:00:00.003+09:00

seollal is all about the deep fried vittles.

hey lovers,

by now you should know that koreans use two calendars, one that’s solar and the another that’s lunar. so while koko celebrated the near year on jan 1 with much of the rest of the world, today was day 1 for the year o' the ox.

samchon puts the final touches for the jaesa ceremony.

this special day is called seollal (설날), and it, along with chuseok (추석), are the two most important holidays. along with an estimated 28 million others, i made my way to the family's hometown in daegu to see the fam. per usual, lots of yummy food, and me straining to understand what's being said made for a pleasant time with family.

a quick pit stop on the way from daegu to seoul.

i couldn't land a train ticket back to seoul this afternoon so i bussed it. given snow forecasts and epic traffic, i was surprised the ride took only approx. 5 hours. anyhow, aloha. what follows are a few more blurry pix from the past 24 hours.

새해 복 많이 받으세요! (happy new year!)

g-cash still going strong after 93 years.

sumo skimming the top of the ddeokguk, the traditional seollal soup.

sumo and hyeong cooking up the jun.

(click here for last year's brief seollal post)

my secret slob friend

2009-01-25T00:01:00.005+09:00

a better guest.

since i would be in occidental jesusland for 6 weeks i thought it a nice and mostly harmless gesture to offer my apartment to a fellow homo half-breed ko-am whose lease was expiring a month before his return to the usa. i did the same thing last year and my friend appreciated the respite from his parents' marriage inquiries. sure, he neglected my tree to death, but lots of people kill plants.

but on this go around, something felt amiss when i didn't receive correspondence from my temp-tenant. no "hi, i've arrived!" email, no "kaching! found your japanese porn stash while snooping on your computer, sicko!" memo. more remarkable was seeing the words "back in the usa" next to his name on msn messenger on jan. 2. nope, i never got a "thanks. i left your key (specify location)."

upon my return, what i did receive reminded me of a dirty person's home just prior to a modern pompeii. massive calamity... no time to clean... must escape! or, perhaps i should view what remained as prizes.

a top 10 list of my free goodies:

#10. a dvd player. shockingly useful!
#9. two big dirty blankets i get to dispose of!
#8. wall-to-wall tumble weed-esque dust bunnies!
#7. a box of heating pads for muscle pain!
#6. new grey bathroom tiles and pink grout. oh wait, that's just bacteria in bloom!
#5. butter!
#4. one pair of dirty superman underwear!
#3. a full load of wet laundry left marinating for 2 weeks!
#2. a piece of toilet paper stuck to toilet seat with a little brown sumthin sumthin!

and, my favorite:

#1. a loofa, because i can't wait to combine my dead skin cells with yours!

had i offered my place to a testicled dog, there may have been musty crotch spray marking strategic corners. but at least dogs don't use loofas or washing machines. furthermore, i find it hard to believe that even a golden retriever in mid-molt could have shed more pubic hair on my floor. i guess that's not fair. i don't think dogs have bonafide pubic hair.

in summary, i don't think it's right that people can be secret slobs. filth should not be a secret, cleanliness mustn't be a scam. much like my floor, his skin should be covered in snowfall-like layer of dust and he should smell like rotting laundry. if so, in this righteous world of my fantasies, i'd know better than to lend him my keys.

mean spirited, you tsk? not so! if society's scorn made him too sad, he could then clean his home (and mine), and his body would cleanse in tandem! everybody wins in my world.

but until then, thanks for the loofa!! henceforth, i'm going to make a habit of leaving a used one every place i spend the night. thanks, kenny!

snapshot #16: snowy ruins

2009-01-24T12:14:00.005+09:00

an overnight snow blankets a recently demolished neighborhood in ahyeon (click here for larger).

2036: not holly wong

2009-01-23T13:19:00.011+09:00

on this morning's agenda is to quickly review a few days' worth of international herald tribunes that have been neglected. i think it bad form to simply transfer them from outside my door to the recycle pile.

although it's the "global edition of the new york times" it's hardly as satisfying. that said, each edition also includes an 8-page korean news insert from the english language paper, the joongang daily. the "best of both worlds" marketing pitch hooked me in.

now, while i could rail about the absurdity of the joongang op-eds (and the nyt, for that matter), i'd rather bring attention to what holly wong, age 9, wrote to president obama (and reprinted among several other children's letters) in a recent edition:

dear president/mr. obama,
the best thing about living in the white house would be running around like a maniac. the thing i would like least is the work.
~holly wong, age 9, san francisco

i love holly. i love that her name is holly wong. and i love that she clearly will never be president. america needs more underperforming chinese daughters and holly will always be everyone's favorite hoot at the kegger.

travel somewhere else

2009-01-16T09:09:00.002+09:00

while lucky was sleeping, i hadn't totally divorced myself from blogging. for work purposes, in september i created a travel and culture blog called www.DiscoveringKorea.com, which just happens to be the name of my paltry radio show on kbs. it's funny what happens when your blog doesn't talk obsessively about homosexuality and pretend interns who die in your refrigerator...

like job offers!

some of y'all will no doubt recognize the new blog's precursor- yup, it was nice day's very own "field trip" posts. so if you liked the soko travel shiz, head o'er yonder cuz from here on out, my nice day is out with the travel content in pursuit of full-time campy ramblin'.

exodus from oriental jesusland

2009-01-14T11:40:00.007+09:00

good lawd, indeed!

after a 6-week exodus from oriental jesusland (koko), daddy came back to seoul last friday and promptly fell ill. traveling is hard!

but thanks to in-home convalescence care by a much-improved intern, i'm on the mend. in fact, he's making some sort of honey pear juice concoction as i type. lucky never made me honey pear juice!

most importantly, traveling always reminds me of jesus. and to that end, i think a look back at prior jesusland tributes is apopro:

teasing jesus: the summer 2008 tour (05/08)

jesusland redux (12/07)

jesus: i'm coming home. (08/2007)

it's indulgent, but a holiday overview feels necessary.

this time around i used frequent flier miles to fly seoul to new york with a stopover in paris. it seemed like a good time to take advantage of 10 quid ryan air flights and spend a coupla weeks in northern europe... despite it being the coldest and darkest months of the year. did you know it gets dark after lunch in stockholm these days? kinda puts a damper on sightseeing. other quick stays in paris, london, berlin and amsterdam were nice (yup, still like asia better), but the old continent's highlight was a few days in essen/cologne with judy-on-meds, jonstoph.

since i seem to treat relationships like most people approach unpaid internships, it's always nice to see sexy, high-functioning homo couples who've made the transition to domestic stability... and who wouldn't like to see the half-filipina lady of the house's kitchen chalk board to-do list accented with flower sketches? elsewhere in europe... despite the bad rap, parisians are lovely, londoners (with the exception of my wonderful couchsurfing host) make me glad i'm american, and berlin is my new favorite white city.

onward to american jesusland (aka Jesusland) where i had 8 more chances to experience heinous u.s. airlines during the worst season to navigate the airspaces between chicago, seattle, portland and new york. my favorite 24-hour slog involved seattle's epic snow storm, which cancelled chi to sea. after spending the whole day in dallas on standby, a late final flight pulled into sea-tac at 1 am. i talked about lahore with a sikh cabbie, got stuck in the snow for an hour and missed the 2:10 am (last) ferry to mama's house. spending the next 3 hours outside the terminal was cold, but the last 30 minutes included learning the obvious: of course a late 40s, iraq vet, aspiring truck driver and full-time practical lesbian would like mesh crosstrainers!

pear juice dude, mom and momspouse got to know each other during my 24-hour seattle delay. afterwards, seattle was lovely. new york was a bit stressful, turks and caicos was thank jesus warm. then back to koko the long way. the end.

no naps in 2009.

2009-01-07T04:08:00.003+09:00

mmmm ox year!

me thinks it's time for lucky 'n co to wake up. after 4 months of napping, the kid must re-earn his keep.

for my part, i've been outside koko for the past six weeks, finding myself in a plane every 5-ish days and managing to miss a few of them. wrapping things up here in sunny turks and caicos islands is a nice tease before recommitting to the harsh winter of oriental jesusland (south korea).

and you? how have you spent your high holy days?

anyhow, thanks to the restrictions of mileage plan travel, tomorrow i fly from providenciales to nyc. 8 hours later i fly nyc to paris. a coupla hours post haste the papa haul to seoul. yes... i'm taking the long way back. but i'm ready to head on home. there's something quite nice about leaving a place when you need to leave and going back once you want to go back. and once back, i sense the leopard-print eye shades will be cast off and lucky will spew silly mush encore. thanks for your patience.

xo

i need travel questions

2008-10-07T10:23:00.005+09:00

hey y'all. wow. 2 months without posts. who knew?

on another note, i'm pitching an expanded travel show for kbs world radio. it's all about traveling in korea. the expanded show would include a q+a section.

so, i'd be grateful if any of you have travel-related questions about korea that i could air on the show. better yet, if you could send me an audio clip of you asking it, that would be fun. plus, the strange brew that listens to us via shortwave radios and npr stations at 3 am could hear your pretty voice.

if you're so inclined:

1. state your name and location ("hello, i'm mary lee from mexico" or "i'm mary magdalena lee-morales from 562 rua des noches, tijuana, mexico" works, too)

2. state your question.

3. send me the mp3 file.

if the rigamarole is too much, an emailed question will work too.

for this you can be certain: you will be FAMOUS.

thanks for your help!

quick note... then more hiatus!

2008-09-09T23:53:00.004+09:00

greetings, friends. no, dicky is still very much asleep. i thought he was dead but his groans suggest coma or hibernation. maybe he's a bear! anyhow, after a couple of glasses of homegrown sangria i recalled there's a blog of mine somewhere in dese parts. after a spontaneous review of my blog stats, it's not terribly motivating to find that blog traffic has remained static despite several weeks of null set posting. i guess random searches for "korean penis" and "donkey show" by frustrated middle easterners will happen regardless of timely updates. my solitary 30rock marathon is coming to an end. love stories kill me. so much on the man plan front i shudder to think. hasta! xo

hiatus

2008-09-01T11:53:00.002+09:00

did you know that the happy gray boy located above is lucky? well, he is! as you can tell, he has his leopard print nightshades on. he's taking a nap. the open mouth ensures lots of drool. takes one to know one. anyhow, he'll be back in a bit. in the meantime, thanks for your patience. xo

dicky on my couch?

2008-08-15T10:48:00.004+09:00

a gay taiwanese named dicky has requested my couch for monday evening. should i oblige? is it a trap?

new beginnings

2008-08-14T22:59:00.001+09:00

<< FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE >>

dear friends,

i write you from a state of hurt and confusion, but make no mistake about it, it is also a place of certainty.

this afternoon, i came home from work expecting to see lucky (my intern) hard at work preparing today's olympic posts. as you know, my nice day! had secured a lucrative contract from the korean government to publicize the korean olympic effort through the lens of a half-breed homo foreigner. six days in, my supervisor's blatant homophobia had transformed into a firm grip on my upper thigh and, i think, his tongue on my hairline. needless to say, it has been a heady and chaotic 6 days, which is why (and i'm still processing things, to be honest) i didn't (couldn't?) see how everything was impacting lucky (my intern).

this morning i gave lucky several new olympic features that we were set to unveil during week 2. they would enhance the current line-up of daily previews and medal reviews, jang watch and the outfit olympiad. well, after a hard 1.5 hour day at kbs, i come home to find not an outbox filled with completed tasks, but a computer screen of japanese porn and sim city. feelings of rage and betrayal - shocking in their intensity - overtook me.

i've had a few hours to reflect, and now i regret how my howls of anger combined with a yelping japanese bottom on my mac drowned out lucky's hacking gasps for air as he/she/it expired in my half-size refrigerator. needless to say, my nice day's olympic coverage is on indefinite hiatus.

i know, i know. it's not my fault. lucky (my intern) was already in a bad place thanks to a slew of misfortune (some biological others poorly manufactured). sometimes a little taste of the absurd is what breaks us out of the cloudy funk, but i think this project was lucky's last gasp (no pun intended) - one last chance to see if life matters, if it's real.

obviously, everything still feels very new. i'm going to give myself this weekend to process everything. on tuesday i'll probably clean the fridge. hopefully the actual scrubbing will also metaphorically cleanse my anger. i'm all about new beginnings! thanks for your understanding. feel free to leave comments for lucky's time capsule.

pax romana,

matt kelley

olympics day 6: when to watch

2008-08-14T08:41:00.001+09:00

thursday's olympic viewing docket:

10:30
wrestling
kim jung-sub will compete in the men's greco-roman 84-kg prelims (final at 18:00).
han tae-young ups the weight ante by competing in the 96-kg prelims (final at 18:30).

11:00
table tennis
the women's group is matched up against australia and japan while the men go at chinese taipei (um... you mean, TAIWAN?).

11:30
archery
the sorceresses continue their individual rounds today: joo hyun-jung goes against a frenchie at 11:30. yoon ok-hee challenges a chinese opponent at 12:09 and park sung-hyun goes against a greek at 13:01. the brackets make it possible for them to medal 1-2-3 in the medal rounds later today. stranger things have certainly happened.

12:00
artistic gymnastics
two koko are competing in the men's individual all-around: kim dae-eun, who won all-around silver in athens, and yang tae-young, who had his athens gold snapped away due to an unfortunate judging mistake.

13:00
judo
jang sung-ho competes with the big boys in the men's 100-kg prelims (final at 19:49).

19:30
badminton
men's singles quarterfinals featuring lee hyun-il and mixed doubles quarters with lee yong-dae and lee hyo-jung, who is also going for women's doubles gold, competing together.

olympics: outfit olympiad, part 2

2008-08-13T23:18:00.010+09:00

i'm back for day 2. very low on cleverness today but broadcast garb must be chronicled!

do you think they'll notice we didn't go home last night?

team: kbs2
result: disqualified!
comments: hmmm... looks familiar... cause it's they're the same damn suits you wore yesterday! did you sleep under your desks last night? pink was surprising and wonderful yesterday. that's why you got the gold. two days in a row is unacceptable. you lose.

you hate each other.

team: kbs1
result: bronze medal
comments: you poor, sorry, unhappy people. two days and two bronzes. a) what's with korean guys and vests? anyhow, it's an improvement on yesterday but y'all still look like the least fun duo, hands down.

i wonder if he has matching pants.

team: sbs
result: silver medal
comments: thank goodness these cuties replaced the "shame of korea" that disqualified sbs yesterday. there's a fine line between fun pastels and an easter egg hunt with willy wonka. but, dammit, it's the olympics, so i'm appreciating the effort. he's adorable.

still the hottest pair. yummy.

team: mbc
result: gold medal!
comments: well, well... looking good, aren't we? nice work taming that hot red with conservative dark suits since there's like, wars going on and stuff. but on the home front, mamasan in charge! during their office sex (which we uncovered yesterday), he keeps up, but clearly she's giving orders. the ridiculously large station logos add a special tackiness that me likey. although i think heads should generally be longer than they are wide (sir), you win.

olympics day 5: just one shiny thang (at least it's gold)

2008-08-13T17:10:00.008+09:00

nice work, cutie!

a fairly quiet day for soko on the medals front. off the top of my head, the men's football team was won't advance into the next round, there were some early table tennis victories and some good news was had on the hockey field and handball court.

in weightlifting, cute sa jae-hyouk won gold in the men's 77-kg (170 lbs) event. sure, he had a lower "snatch" score than li hongli of china, but his "clean and jerk" score was higher and he weighs 3 kgs less.

mr. kim looks like a pouting action doll, eh?

unfortunately, fellow soko kim kwang-hoon nabbed a medal-less fourth place.

i'd like a medal sweep for both genders, thanks!

all three of korea's archery mankubs have advanced to the quarterfinals after winning their individual 1/64 and 1/32 rounds today. lee chang-hwan, aka "hat man" beat his chinese competitor in the 1/32 by four points. his nearly perfect 117 out of 120 score set a 12-arrow olympic record. sexy park kyung-mo destroyed his brazilian 1/32 opponent 116-99 and im dong-hyun beat a qatari in his 1/32 elimination, 108-103. the next round matches begin 11:30 on friday.

in ladies' badminton, lee kyung-won and lee hyo-jung beat japan in just two sets and will face one of two chinese teams in the gold medal final on friday. on the men's side, lee jaejin and hwang ji-man also beat a japanese team to advance into the semi-finals.

you know what time it is. medal standings at the conclusion of day 5:
my my, it looks like the krauts are picking up golds left and right...

olympics day 5: jang watch! (jang art)

2008-08-13T16:49:00.005+09:00

today's jang watch is dedicated to jang jang jang mi ran art. feel free to submit your own.

the weight of the world is under her shoulders. on, i mean it's on her shoulders.

she seems to be handling the heft of the world better in this one.

i think it says that eyes are too difficult (to draw).

olympics day 5: when to watch

2008-08-13T09:30:00.004+09:00

good morning lovers. here's today's schedule of events featuring soko stars:

10:00
shooting
lee ho-lim goes for gold in the women's 25-meter pistol qualifications (final at 16:00)

10:30
wrestling
men's greco-roman 66-kg qualification featuring kim min-chul (medal rounds at 18:00).

11:00
archery
men's individual round of 64 and 32. watch team gold medalists
park kyung-mo, im dong-hyun and lee chang-hwan
try to make it on their own.

fencing
choi byung-chul competes in the men's individual foil round of 32 (medals start at 21:00)
jung hyo-jung competes in the women's individual epee round of 32 (medals start at 21:30)

table tennis
women's team group match vs. spain.
men's team group matches against sweden and brazil.

11:45
badminton
semifinals of the women's doubles competition featuring soko's lee kyung-won and lee hyo-jung. i like these ladies.

18:00
football
men's group match vs. honduras.

19:00
baseball
men's prelim match against the u-s-a.

olympics day 4: in summary, silver still sucks.

2008-08-12T23:53:00.003+09:00

he's nodding the affirmative... but then he lost.

baby boy (kim jae-bum) battled a belorussian, a pole and a portuguese before meeting the flying (black) dutchman in the semifinals of the 81-kg judo contest. they were both super pooped. tied after three rounds, it was golden score time (sudden death). at one point, kim bumped his opponent's genitals, causing the injured to wince and double-over. but after jiggling his ballsack in front of the tv cameras, all seemed better. then they clawed on the mat in each others arms and legs for a few minutes, at which point li'l nips cajoled a point from his exhausted foe. it was on to the gold medal match where he lost a close 0-1 contest with a ukrainian. poops!

park with olympic mascot "beibei" in the backbackground. the similar colors suggest he's part of beibei's traveling circus.

it turns out park eun-cheol beat an iranian to take (one of) the bronze(s) in the 55 kg (121 lbs) greco-roman dry humping contest. i'm a little confused. thanks to the "repechage" loop hole, there be more than one bronze medalist? it's a shame i'm so poorly informed about athletics, the olympics, korean things, etc.

but, to make up for it, here's a "the more you know" edu-moment: i just learned today that the surname "park" (박) is shared by 9% of koreans, and it can be traced to one progenitor: king park hyeokgeose (박혁거세 거서간), who founded the silla dynasty in 57 BCE when he united 6 villages near present-day gyeongju. silla went on to defeat its neighbors to create the first unified korea.

scary hitzler.

ok, back to the campy olympics coverage.

just for kicks, kbs humiliated a moroccan woman by broadcasting her destruction by sorceress #1, park sung-hyun. i loved the "whoops!" face the lady made when her arrow hit black (4 out of 10 points). needless to say, she was kill-ded before park moved on to compete against a german named hitzler. no, i not kid! come to think of it, i watched a german gymnast this morning whose last name was "boy". anyhow, the german took an early lead. and with just 3 arrows left on each side, park was but one point ahead of hitzler! ... but then spells were cast, and miss-hitz miss-hit her final threesome. the upshot? the good witch park, whose chin sports a perma-line from her bow, emerged victorious!

hot and hunky... and really dramatic.

and finally, i was introduced to the hunky drama queen, lee bae-young. lee was super sexy in his spiderman outfit and a real medal contender- he won silver in athens. in fact, this time around, his "snatch" score was second highest, but it didn't matter since he failed in all three "clean & jerk" attempts.

wait, shouldn't he be standing?

strike 1: lee collapsed on attempt 1, apparently because of a leg cramp. more amusing was the five chinese youngsters who surrounded him with privacy barricades as he sat on stage while receiving a leg massage. strike 2: homedude comes back for try #2. another failure. he falls and blames the limbs. strike 3: he comes back, smiles and flirts with the stadium crowd to clap for him before he falls flat on his face. hot, but kinda lame, folks. the good news? the chinese who beat him is darn hot.

and, finally, in the "who gets ultimate control of dokdo" medal standings after 4 days:
little has changed... beyond soko expanding its lead over nihons, of course.

olympics: outfits of the 29th olympiad, part 1

2008-08-12T20:01:00.009+09:00

while we await tonight's final scores, i'd like to alert you to another contest. beyond beijing's athletic competitions is a korean tv anchor outfit olympics. unlike back in the usa, one station didn't pay a bazillion dollars or a trazillion won to get exclusive rights to cover the games. this is a good thing for two reasons:

1) i can watch the anchors at kbs1, kbs2, mbc and sbs fashion-fight it out.

2) four stations makes it highly likely that park tae-hwan's gold medal swim is always being replayed... somewhere.

re: #1, today was the first day medals were given in the outfit olympics. the results were:

the shame of korea.

team: sbs
result: disqualified
comments: like inverted expected babies (huh?), he's pink, she's blue. she's crying because she's so upset. all those years of training and they didn't even get to compete!

trying too hard to impress the games' host nation.

team: kbs1
result: bronze medal
comments: oh my. this pauvre duo's fashion looks nerdy, red and uncool. in a word: "chinese".

today's silver may be tomorrow's scandal!

team: mbc
result: silver medal
comments: these two are adorable, but what's up with outfits, dudes. my fashion sense kinda sucks, but i think they look like members of competing ice dancing teams. c'mon folks, it's the summer olympics! but, they win silver because of their "i like working with you, but i like the heavy petting after work even better" look!

and, finally...

pretty in pink.

team: kbs2
result: gold medal
comments: i LOVE them. i see homedude at the kbs coffee shop every so often. we always make meaningful eye contact. he's kinda ug but charismatic. she's great in every way. their matching pink suits are phenomenal. they had his and hers white ones yesterday. a remarkable performance... they're unstoppable. competition? what competition?

olympics day 4a: jin goes gold! marine boy nabs silver!

2008-08-12T11:23:00.010+09:00

great work, baby face!

sure, the american wunderbrute got the gold and a new world record. but the pride of soko, marine boy himself won second best with a time of 1:44:85 in the 200-meter freestyle. he special.

i love the hand-over-mouth.

my new crush is jin jong-oh, who looked sincerely surprised when he realized he won gold in the men's 50-meter pistol competition. he seemed to mouth "who, me?" when someone congratulated him. jin narrowly beat his norko brother by just .2 points. it's korea's first olympic shooting gold in 16 years. on sunday, jin took silver in the 10-meter event. he's so chill and cute. i just wish he'd ditch that beard of his... his wife, i mean (joke. they seem very happy together).

- - - intermission - - -
guess what? i had to go to work today! i know, right? for a whopping 2.5 hours, i was away from my computer, tv and camera. let's hope that doesn't happen again.

soko's next gold?

onto the mat, where 55-kg (121 lbs), greco-roman singlet-sporting park eun-cheol beat a dane and then an american named "mango" in the quarters, but lost to a ruskie in the semis 2-9. me thinks he'll meet an armenian in the bronze medal match-up at 6 pm tonight. in response to my obligatory hotness question, park ain't too shabby, but the body proportions that occur when a super-muscled dude weighs just 55 kgs are kinda scary in a mini-me type of way.

the big disappointment is that jung ji-hyun went out in the quarterfinals after losing his 3-round bout against a feisty kazak. jung, the gold medal winner in athens, was expected to repeat here.

winning is sexy.

after a grueling bout with a handsome portuguese dude, kim "tic-tac nipples" jae-bum won his preliminary contest in the 81 kg (178 lbs) approaching bonafide koko beefcake judo division. after 2 mins in the golden time, or whatever it is. beyond flipping, i still have no idea how points are granted in judo. in any case, the medals will be awarded around 8 pm tonight. i've never been one of those weirdos who worship silver dollar-sized nipples, but at least at least aspirin-sized, please! if we start dating, i'll try to focus on some other aspects of his otherwise accomplished physique.

olympics day 4: jang watch!

2008-08-12T08:26:00.005+09:00

the gaze of a champion!

no real news to report on jang jang jang mi ran today except that i still love her and i love the love she is spreading around the world. why do you love her? please explain. thank you.

olympics day 4: when to watch

2008-08-12T08:20:00.004+09:00

here's what and when soko's finest will be in action today (all times korean). a very homo-friendly morning, i must say:

11:00
archery
the sorceresses compete in the rounds of 64 and 32.

artistic gymnastics
the men's team final. the most homo-friendly sport there is.

badminton
mixed doubles and men's doubles, both round of 16.

11:16
swimming
marine boy park tae hwan goes for gold #2 in the men's 200-meter freestyle! he'll be up against the medal-hog michael phelps of the usa.

13:00
shooting
men's 50-meter pistol final. if he survives qualification rounds, jin jong-oh looks to improve on his silver in the 10-meter event.

17:30
field hockey
women's prelim match vs. them dutch.

18:00
wrestling
men's greco-roman: 55 kg (park eun-chul) and 60-kg (jung ji-hyun) finals (who doesn't like singlets?)

19:49
judo
men's 81-kg medal rounds. if he survives the prelims, maybe i'll find a new boyfriend (kim jae-bum).

20:00
handball
men's prelims against denmark.

olympics day 3: final report (sick of silver)

2008-08-11T21:32:00.011+09:00

well, at least you got nice cheeks!

koreans like to think of themselves as the italians of asia. you know, peninsula, love of food, and, err "passionate" people. but thank goodness koreans are better sportmen and women than their euro brothers of another mother. geesh. what jerks!

anyhow, after quite a run, the 155 cm/45 kg- (5'1"/99 lbs) nam hyun-hee beat one italian but fell to another. the exciting match started with nam overcoming an 0-3 deficit. at the end of period 2, she was down by one. after a very tense 2.5 minute tete-a-tete, she nailed her opponent to tie it up again. she even went ahead for a hot second before falling behind in the last seconds to take home silver. silver is so much less fun than gold.

afterwards the italian coach was awkwardly carrying the victor around like she was... disabled. is that anyway an olympic champion should behave? i'm not bitter. anyway, here's an enjoyable piece of nam trivia:

turns out she was suspended from the soko national team in 2006 for 6 months for unauthorized cosmetic surgery. home girl got her eyelids doubled (permission was granted) and had fat injected into her cheeks (not granted). i can understand the temptation to get everything taken care of at once. but when she came back to training all puffy and had to sit out for a few days, her coaches wised up to procedure #2 and she was punished. only in korea!

and, finally: the medal standings after day 3:

jesus, talk about an unsavory foreign policy trio at the bottom!

soko maintains its #3 slot (korean tv pegs them at #2 since they have more golds than the usa. i love korea!) re: arch-nemesis japan, hmmm... what a difference a day makes...

olympics day 3: please respect our privacy during this difficult time.

2008-08-11T20:52:00.011+09:00

dear kiki: daddy misses you!

oh my god. he killed my boyfriend!

the azerbaijani brute threw my wang ki-chun down by ippon almost before their bout began. i looked away, and when i turned back, mancandy was flat on his back! we've kept "us" a secret for a while, but now he needs me, and i can't really be there for him if we keep our love a secret. anyhow, when he comes home, we'll take a nice warm bath and then i'll let him flip me silly and have his way. i discovered long ago that's how we both win.

anyhow, silver for soko in the 73-kg judo competition. in mourning, here are some nice pics of kiki in and out of the office (yes, i'm the photographer!).

in civilian wear (i told him not to wear that tie... given our 9-year age difference, he tries to assert his power in the weirdest ways!).

look who's best friends with jang jang jang mi-ran! wait... are they getting married?

another day at the bus stop. oh wait, that last one just slipped in from my korean soft porn collection. sorry.

olympics day 3: half-time report: more archery gold and judo/fencing/handball advances...

2008-08-11T18:29:00.012+09:00

yum.

today it was the dudes' turn in the team archery event. and tho they didn't dominate like their sister sorceresses did yesterday, they also won team gold by beating italy in a close final: 227-225. it was fun watching the nunas (big sisters) root for their little brothers in the final.

a momento for home.

park kyung-mo, im dong-hyun and lee chang-hwan are ranked 4-8-10 individually, so it's unclear if they'll bring home more medals during the individual contests on friday. the good witches? ranked 1-2-3, baby! i'm really looking forward to watching them sweep up on thursday.

aw, i think they're quite a cute trio.

apparently the audience sportsmanship training given to the chinese fans prior to the games didn't take root (i'm shocked!). fools were heckling and hollering to try and make our boys mess up. no such luck! for their part, tv coverage showed italian fans' bemused response to the passion of the korean audience. the cutest part was when park kyung-mo ran to fetch the target as a momento of their win!

i love her victory screams.

in other news, nam hyun-hee, who is ranked #4, advanced to the quarters where she conquered her japanese opponent (15-10). if she beats an italian in the semis, she'll spar for the gold in the women's individual foil event tonight!

hot hot hot!

20-year-old world champion jukoda hotstuff, wang ki-chun, advances into the finals for the 73-kg judo class after beating a sexy brazilian in the quarters and a kazak in the semis. the match is scheduled for later tonight!

finally, in women's handball, soko routed dogil (germany) 30-20 in its second preliminary match. hong jeong-ho scored 6 goals during the match, finding the net on 75% of her attempts. the soko ladies are the second in all-time handball medals and took silver in athens. they have three more prelim matches against sweden, brazil and hungary before the quarterfinals begin next week.

it's so fun to be able to watch the event live. from the bkgnd of my pics, can you tell it's a rainy day today?

olympics: jang watch!

2008-08-11T08:58:00.009+09:00

i LOVE this pic!

thanks to enthusiastic responses by both judy and bdkymm, now i know i'm not the only one infatuated with jang... jang... jang mi-ran!

with your active participation, i hereby initiate "jang watch!", a daily, jang mi-ran joy management exercise as we await papa jang's impending gold medal performance in beijing. my sources tell me that the women's 75+ kg (165+ lbs) competition is set for saturday at 7 am chiner-time. that means we only gots a bit more than 5 days for "jang watch" and to mobilize her international fan club.

secretary judy?
president kim jong kymm?

are you ready?

it says i love her. i admit it. i ate the watermelon last night. but i don't think she should be eating watermelons anyway. they just make you pee.

what can you do? for example, this morning i rolled out of bed and ate half a watermelon... in bedhead, no less. i took this photo. now, it's your turn. koko-flow love global attention. jang mi-ran needs our support!

discovering korea #15: summer festivals

2008-08-11T00:01:00.001+09:00

ya ya i know i spelled "peach" wrong.

transcript from my kbs world radio show, discovering korea.

a change of pace for this week's discovering korea... if you like puppets or peaches, why not take a break this month and check out one of korea's late summer festivals? (read it here).

olympics day 2: the ladies' turn

2008-08-10T19:49:00.014+09:00

i'm not sure why i think i'm the preeminent news outlet for homo-tinged soko olympic coverage, but... i do. and with my embarrassing snapshots of my tv screen as royalty-free art, i'm terribly "cutting-edge".

the foregone conclusion in women's team archery. i love how they kept wearing their visors despite the overcast sky... in koko, ain't no such thing as fun in the sun.

the sorceresses - park sung-hyun, yoon ok-hee and joo hyun-jung - beat china (was there ever any doubt?) 224-215 to win soko's sixth consecutive olympic gold in women's team archery. they set a new world record in their semi-final match. these ladies are fierce. you can tell they know they're going to win. yoon ok-hee sports full face makeup, a pink bow and a pink breast protector decorated with teddy bears and hearts. the french team... doesn't.

yoon ok-hee dominates in full maquillage.

the frenchies took bronze in archery but won gold in looking like stereotypical lesbatrons! congratulations!

koko fans are koko-krazy.

in other news, the 22-year-old yoon jin-hee won silver in the 53-kg weightlifting competition with a total of 213-kgs lifted. she was second to jaroenrattanatarakoon prapawadee of thailand (good lawd them thai names!). dear europe: short hair can be cute. see below!

the second cutest female wrestler i've seen thus far (who's #1? jang jang jang mi ran!).

since we have an extra moment, how about we check in on how our island-snatching neighbor to the east is doing?

wait. where's japan? i can't find it... oh, ok. there it is. waaay down past zimbabwe and belarus...

olympics day 2: marine boy wins gold!

2008-08-10T11:39:00.013+09:00

marine boy does it!

his oma loses it!

18-year-old park tae-hwan becomes korea's first swimming medalist, winning the gold in the 400-meter freestyle with a time of 3:41.86.

it must feel nice after being disqualified for a false start in athens (he was only 14) and all the pressure that's been on him of late. good work, marine boy! collect dem endorsement won now. (btw: i think this is the fourth time kbs has replayed the race in the past 25 mins.)

update 12:03: medals ceremony

i guarantee the locals are eating up this hierarchy.

i get the feeling he may be on anti-depressants, but anyway, nice work!

olympics day 1: 1 and 1

2008-08-09T20:20:00.006+09:00

flip, flip, flipping white men!

i'm sorry. i couldn't help but crop off the cauliflower ear.

day one has concluded, and sexy choi min-ho did indeed bring soko the gold in judo's under 60kgs. he flipped everyone! and he has a lisp!

silver medalist, jin jong-oh with his arm around the norko brone medalist, kim jong-su (pic from here).

jin jong-oh won silver in the 10m air pistol event, improving on his 5th place in athens. in 2004 he won silver in the 50m, so here's hoping he brings home more for the glory of lee myung-bak in upcoming events. note: he has a cute smile and has a little soko hiphop thing goin on.

the games have begun!

2008-08-08T13:28:00.013+09:00

12 of korea's olympians participating in the beijing games.

another reason why i love korea? shiz get done real quick here.

e.g.: i bought a tv last fall but waited nine months to plug it in. satisfying my crush on korean swimmer park tae-hwan made getting cable installed for the olympics a priority. but, i didn't actually make the call until thursday afternoon. however, korea encourages my procrastination! although i called c&m (cable and more!) at 2:30 pm on thursday, the technician arrived before noon on friday. try waiting 2+ weeks in amurrica.

over the past 24-hours i've been reintroduced to the geriatric joke better known as larry king and other cnn programming. russia invades georgia but john edwards's 2006 extra-marital affair is the lead story... (c'mon now, did you ever doubt gross golden boy's potential for philandering?) i've also realized that bbc world has about 6 hours of content for a 24-hour day. i need to find me some good korean dramas.

back to the olympics. i slept through much of what appeared to be an impressive (and really long) opening ceremonies. for its part, soko's 389-person contingent will compete in 25 events: (modern pentathlon, basketball, wrestling, badminton, boxing, shooting, cycling, swimming, equestrian, baseball, archery, weightlifting, sailing, judo, athletics, rowing, gymnastics, football, canoe, table tennis, taekwondo, tennis, fencing, hockey and handball).

south korea usually makes the top 10 in the medal count. the adopted homeland is hoping for 10 golds in beijing. the following are among their best prospects:

park tae-hwan, aka "marine boy" is korea's best hope for its first swimming medal. the 18-year-old already holds a world championship title, three asian games golds and asian records in the 200- and 400m freestyle events. the prospect of a 175cm korean swimmer beating caucasian beefcake makes me happy.

jang mi-ran is a big girl and participates in the heaviest division for women (+75kg). she's a three-time world champion who won the silver medal in athens. in april she set an unofficial world record in the "clean and jerk". i don't know what that means. president lee myung-bak thinks she has a beautiful smile. that's nice.

park sung-hyun and yoon ok-hee are just two of korea's archery illuminati. soko's team has won every archery gold medal since the '84 games. the ladies hold every world record in the olympic standard, "outdoor recurve discipline" (i don't know what that means, either). yoon told reuters, "our sensitive fingertips, descended from our ancestors, and our spiritual strength and willingness to fight until the very end... they are the secrets." perhaps this also helps female korean dominance with a wide variety of weapons. kim chan-mi came within 1 point of china's du li in last year's asian shooting championships, while nam hyun-hee hopes to medal in women's fencing. finally, hwang kyeong-seon is hoping to continue korea's dominance in its national sport, taekwondo, by improving upon her bronze in athens.

re: dudes, choi min-ho is a men's judo star who is called the "little giant". in athens he sustained an injury and was disappointed with a bronze medal finish. yang tae-young should have one the individual all-around gold in athens. a judging mistake undervalued his start value on the horizontal bars. the extra 0.1 point would have given him the edge over the winner, who beat him by just 0.049 points. 20-year-old wang ki-chun hopes to medal in his first olympics. he won the 2007 world championships in judo last year. jung ji-hyun, or mr. cauliflower ear, won a gold medal in wrestling at the games in athens. and finally, son seong-cheol is soko's only diver. the national olympic training center in seoul does not have diving boards, so home dude trains in a student swimming arena swarming with kids enjoying their summer break. it's unlikely that he'll medal, but he's cute and we have the same family name.

good luck, and make sure to bring home more medals than the japanese! do it for dokdo!

snapshot #15: bisected roof eaves

2008-08-07T10:50:00.001+09:00

with gwangwhamun (the gate marking the entrance to gyeongbuk palace) under reconstruction, parts of the shoddy version built by former dictator park chun hee are on display near the palace.

hoon's hurrah

2008-08-04T00:30:00.005+09:00

discovering korea #14: gangwondo road trip, day 3

2008-08-03T00:01:00.001+09:00

take three days anywhere in koko and you're bound to find lots of kook. here's proof!

transcript from my kbs world radio show, discovering korea.

abby, hoon and i took 3-days to explore gorgeous gangwon province. day 1 was spent in the mountains, day 2 was spent on the beach, and day three was spent investigating the weird (read it here).

soko's wacky budget airline bonanza

2008-08-02T15:46:00.002+09:00

jin air, a subsidiary of korean air, is one of korea's most promising new budget airlines, but i can't handle the turned hats.

back in september of 2006, i booked a $19 (+tax) roundtrip ticket on malaysia's air asia. the prospect of being airborne for so little was intriguing. sure, i was flying from kuala lumpur to the very unpopular destination of kota bharu (local slogan: the islamic city!), but c'mon, $19?

i was struck by how inexpensively one can fly in southeast asia... especially when originating out of KL or bangkok. this just ain't the case in pricey northeast asia, where 2-hour trips between seoul and tokyo still run $600+ this time of year.

a glut of budget airlines is coming to korea. an asterisk means future projections.

but 2008 promises to fill korea's air with a glut of new budget carriers. a total of 5 new airlines are launching this year, with two already in operation. last week, the busan-based yeongnam air launched its inaugural flight between seoul's gimpo (mostly domestic) international airport and the lovely jeju island. by the end of the year, they plan to service four domestic routes that concentrate on yeongnam, which is korea's southeastern region. in fact, bonafide yeongnam residents receive a 5-10% discount... which is kinda weird.

a week prior, jin air, the budget arm of tiffany-blue korean air, had their own maiden voyage on a 189-seat boeing 737-800. jin is so easy breezy cool that their flight attendants, called "jinis" (yes, from the lamp) wear t-shirts and jeans and their check-in counter features a dj. although initial plans were to call the airline air korea, they switched to "jin," whose chinese character can mean "true" or "genuine", or, it can sound like how koreans pronounce "jeans", which is appropriate since they wear them. which came first, the outfits or the name? regardless, what's even better is their slogan: "fly, better fly - jin air." oh, wait... their logo looks like a butterfly... which sounds a lot like "better fly". clever! painful! starting late next year, jin plans to fly to japan as well as to china and southeast asian destinations.

sure hansung airlines has had some safety issues, but i'm liking the professionalism. can you imagine how bad it would look if jin air's nickelodeon rugrats get associated with some kind of (god forbid) mishap?

hansung airlines is korea's oldest budget carrier (inaugural flight in 2005). the cheongju-based airline has offered the popular seoul (gimpo) to jeju route at half the typical $200+ cost of the major airlines. although hansung experienced early popularity, it suspended service for a coupla months in 2005-06 to search for additional funding. adding literal injuries to that insult was an accident in november 2006 that broke off their plane's nose and caused six minor cuts and bruises.

i think that's a kitty kat peace sign.

i wish every pilot had a rose, a gun, and kitty paws. thanks chang-bin!

if safety concerns has you second-guessing hansung, please don't. who else's website has a "cabin interview" feature that tells you your flight attendant's hobbies and blood type. for example, now i know that yea-ji shon really likes balloons and that chang-bin lee likes to pretend he's holding a gun while wearing his pilot's uniform. safety!

not to be left out, korea's other major carrier, asiana airlines, will also launch a subsidiary airline this fall. air busan, as it will be called, will start operations in october. two other low-cost carriers are also planned before year's end. in november, eastar jet is scheduled to start service, with incheon-tiger (co-owned by the city of incheon and singapore airlines) to kick off in december, eventually hoping to serve japan, china, mongolia and the russian far east. a few others, like purple jet, daeyang air, pocheon air, kostar airlines and seoul airlines have all been knocked about though it's unclear which (if any) will materialize. good lawd. how about some consolidation already.

the seagull looks very stuffed.

korean aviation restrictions require new carriers to have at least 2 years of domestic test-runs before going international. the new companies are eager to go abroad since that's where the real profits lie. jeju air, which has operated since 2006, already qualifies and offers service to three japanese cities (unfortunately, tokyo ain't one of them).

let's hope some of them get to run some int'l flights before high oil prices push them under!

snapshot #14: i'm seeking new dance venues

2008-08-01T02:51:00.003+09:00

a very shady "club" on itaewon's "hooker hill".

field trip #13: bukchon (북촌)

2008-07-30T22:30:00.008+09:00

between seoul's two greatest palaces is a sea of tiled eaves that form the 600-year-old city's last traditional neighborhood.

in joseon seoul there was both a north village (bukchon) and a south village (namchon). while namchon stretched from the cheonggyecheon south to nam mountain and was home to lower ranking officials, bukchon was built between gyeongbuk and changdeok palaces, and was historically home to fancy palace officials.

pic of bukchon from no. 11 gahoe-dong (from here. please click for larger... no, really, it must be done).

the palaces were built on what was considered seoul's two best plots. according to korean baesanimsu (배산임수) principles (similar to feng shui), their location is auspicious since it sits on the slopes of a mountain (bugaksan) with water (the cheonggyecheon and the han river) in the front. situated in-between, bukchon also enjoyed the area's positive yang energy. while little of namchon remains, bukchon is seoul's last neighborhood with a high concentration of traditional homes, called hanok (한옥). according to peter bartholomeu, there were over 800,000 hanoks in seoul just thirty years ago, but today only some 12,000 remain with 900 concentrated in bukchon.

a close-up of a beautiful hanok roof.

hanok are typically single-story structures made of clay, wood and stone with ondol heated floors topped by curved tile roofs called giwa (기와). in this part of korea, they usually take the shape of the korean letter "geok" (ㄱ) or "deegut" (ㄷ), which create a nice central courtyard. in the cold north they are often square shaped to help retain heat, while the warmer southern region's hanok can have an open "I" shape.

the number of hanok in bukchon has decreased significantly since 1985, despite the area's "preservation" designation since the 1970s. today, less than 40% of the structures in bukchon are hanok.

today there are about 2,300 homes in bukchon, but back in the day there were probably no more than 30 villas here. but when japanese annexation brought the joseon dynasty down in 1910, social and economic forces conspired to divvy up of the old villas into hundreds of compact lots. unfortunately, what remains is only about 40% hanok (down from 55% in 1985), and very few of them date from the joseon period. most were mass produced in the 1930s, and space restrictions required shorter roof eaves and the average hanok in bukchon is only about 25 pyeong in size (about 83 sq m / 900 sq ft) although there's one 150-pyeong monster hanok.

two maps compare the number of hanoks in bukchon in 1985 and 2001. blue denotes hanoks and orange denotes demolished hanoks. orange kills me! (click for larger).

bukchon hasn't escaped a government policy to tear down hanoks, or the desire of many koreans to abandon their "inferior" traditional housing for the sea of ubiquitous "apateu" tower blocks that started ravaging seoul's skyline in 1962. while just 10% of seoulites lived in community housing in 1970, a generation later (by 1994), nearly 60% did.

a nice junction in gahoe-dong.

it's only recently that the city government and tourism officials realized bukchon's value and moved to protect it. unfortunately, their preservation plans have been plagued with snafus. while the neighborhood has been better preserved than most (this isn't saying much), it's nearly impossible to find a view uninterrupted by ugly, new-ish, multi-story brick homes. for example, even though the gahoe-dong neighborhood was designated a hanok preservation district in 1973 and put under special care of the city, less than half of its hanoks remain.

a less-polished row of hanok.

by 2000 there were just two streets in gahoe-dong filled entirely by hanoks. in 2001, the seoul metropolitan government launched its "bukchon project", investing 84-billion won ($90 million) to encourage residents to register and renovate hanoks via grants and low-interest loans. the city undertook a detailed architectural survey and worked to improve roads, street lighting and tourist signage while changing zoning laws and imposing new height and design restrictions.

the problem, however, was that large areas in west bukchon were excluded. through 2007, while 200 neighborhood hanoks were renovated, many others were demolished and replaced with 4-story+ commercial buildings. furthermore, while bukchon maintains its tenuous definition as a primarily residential neighborhood, its population is only about half of what it was in 1976. furthermore, in 2006 alone, 33 homes were converted into commercial establishments.

this hanok has been renovated into a dentist's office.

while the number of hanoks in bukchon continues to fall, there's also new hanok construction going on. living in a hanok is becoming cool, and the city is working hard to promote bukchon as a top tourist destination. the rise of wine bars and art galleries in trendy, next-door samcheong-dong, brings a lot of foot traffic, not least of which is japanese housewives on "yonsama" pilgrimages. "yonsama" is the japanese name given to bae yong-joon, the (gross) star of the very popular korean tv drama, "winter sonata", which was filmed in bukchon.

not your thing? then pick up a neighborhood map at the bukchon cultural center and partake in the new "bukchon museum freedom pass". for 10,000-won, you get access to five museums: the gahoe museum, hansangsu embroidery museum, dong-lim museum, museum of korean buddhist art, and my favorite, the seoul museum of chicken art.

let's hope another hanok is what's to come.

as hanoks continue to be demolished in other parts of seoul, at least one neighborhood's clumsy efforts to preserve them is gaining traction. let's hope bukchon's sea of arching tile roofs and winding alley roads stick around to see seoul's next iteration.

getting there:

→ take subway line 3 to anguk station (exit #2) and walk north. the area's museums are typically open 10:00-18:00, closed mondays.

more info:
"the bukchon plan" (in korean)
"the bukchon plan" translated into english

look who dragged in the cat!

2008-07-28T17:01:00.001+09:00

i hear that bundang is like the paris of korea (joke).

on sunday my social prospects improved dramatically when miss cindy arrived in seoul. born here but away for the past 30 years, she's back to fulfill a 2-year teaching contract (not english!) and to connect with family and the motherland. we go way back and our tandem goofiness knows no bounds.

this electronic progress report reminded me of hong kong international airport's train. i was giddy to see that one day soon it will reach my vicinity.

nearly 7 hours of sunday was spent fetching cat #2 and a missing bag from the korean air cargo and passenger terminals. each of the subway, shuttle bus, airport limousine and taxi legs and pit stops in-between were smooth thanks to cindy's papers being in order and very pleasant airport personnel. along the way, we took the "arex" airport train for the first time between gimpo and incheon airports. it was a little slow, but clean and well-done. yea korea.

now that my sister of another mother has landed, let the circus begin!

snapshot #13: the morning after

2008-07-27T05:01:00.001+09:00

the recent non-stop rain has been unkind to my silver slippers. after yet another nighttime soaking, here they be on a recent weekday, taking advantage of a few paltry minutes of afternoon sun.

discovering korea #13: gangwondo road trip, day 2

2008-07-26T16:01:00.005+09:00

a hot hot hot day 2 on the beach (photoshop alert: check out hoon's gimpy hand... i had to erase the sunglasses when i swapped another pic's head to replace the original).

transcript from my kbs world radio show, discovering korea.

abby, hoon and i took 3-days to explore gorgeous gangwon province. day 1 was spent in the mountains. day 2 was spent on the beach (read it here).

couchsurfer #2

2008-07-25T15:42:00.003+09:00

a rare european (of a kind) who loves both korea and americans.

i had my second couchsurfer last week (remember marlene?). originally from belfast, kevin has been a vagabond of late, spending time in korea, mexico, and what sounded like an epic trip through the usa. he's got one of those wonderful "i don't understand why i love this ugly, maddening city" attitudes that's rare among white expats. he also, on many occasions, opens his mouth wide and holds it there a while before speaking. it doesn't sound charming, but it is. inexplicably, we were 36 hours into our 48-hour time together before he divulged that we play for the same team. i've found commonwealth-ers strange in this respect.

i know it's cliché, but it's nice how trying to be a good host can result in discovering new things in an old hood. case in point i finally checked out the tiny live music club just 2 blocks from my apartment. perhaps it was the ~~midget~~ little person bouncer who's typically guarding their door, but this was my first time to duck inside. we sat among just 4 tables, enjoyed a decent korean crooner, consumed two unsavory cafri beers, and called it a thursday night.

among blood

2008-07-24T14:56:00.014+09:00

g-cash is looking a little glum.

it's been over three months since i've made the daegu family trip (shame!). so last sunday, despite a hefty slew of new work projects, i took the 100-minute korea train express (ktx) to the city of big apples. the ride down was fun since mr. hoon was also doing a gyeongsang province family reunion, but his was in busan.

anyhow, at east daegu station, i transferred to the subway, and 7-ish stops and a 15-minute walk later, i was at the family compound. tho pretty damn lucid for a 92-year-old great-grandmother, my halmoni tried speaking to me in japanese again. at least she realized her error and started laughing. her physical health seems ok but her spirits were low. she smiled infrequently and i'm concerned about a large, textured growth on her right jowels. anyhow, i need to get back on my once per month visiting schedule.

i arrived at about noon and left at 5:30. a shamefully short visit and halmoni wasn't pleased. per usual, wesukmo (my aunt) was in a constant state of food prep and clean up. she is chatty, but me thinks her audience wasn't ideal:

1) a 92-year-old know-it-all matriarch who asks the same questions repeatedly.

2) a mentally-retarded husband whose boyish non-sequiturs always take a conversation off-track.

3) a korean language beginner (me) who latches onto a coupla key words and context, but whose questions and reactions expose his paltry 23% comprehension rate.

4) a small maltese-ish mutt who is 130 in korean dog years (13x10). in this case, i think the american x7 tradition works a lil better (i'm not sure why i've included "maek-seu").

anyhow, this couldn't have been a very satisfying audience.

a hot summer weather favorite: aunty's delicious samgyetang (삼계탕)

the fam don't speak any english and that's a good thing, i guess. they are not accustomed to interacting with foreigners, so they don't speak slowly, use seoul dialect and/or simple vocabulary for my benefit. no, matt, this isn't sogang korean language institute level 1... and thank goodness, because language school doesn't serve you three meals in under 6 hours (#1: curry rice, #2: samgyetang (whole boiled chicken stuffed with rice, ginseng and dates), #3: bulgogi (marinated grilled beef... probably from america).

snapshot #12: obsessed with your english teacher?

2008-07-21T00:01:00.004+09:00

i'm editing a new english book for the little rascals in yeosu as their city prepares to host the 2012 world exposition. nevermind the missed errors, i found this sample passage increasingly alarming.

miss abby turns 26!

2008-07-18T21:13:00.002+09:00

birthday regards you shameful (gorgeous) thang!

man plan: for love of country

2008-07-17T21:58:00.007+09:00

my my, i think i should cleanse that nasty scratch on your rippling abdomen (pic from the joongang daily).

to celebrate (memorialize?) man plan's most promising but impossible prospect, i'd like to honor mr. hoon with some posts prior to his untimely departure.

you see, in about two weeks, the man plan allstar will leave civilian life for a 22-month stint in the korean army. much like his brethren above, he, too, will be forced to mud wrestle half-nekkid with his nation's most virile under the sweltering summer sun.

photos like this one make me think perhaps it's my patriotic half-duty to volunteer as his replacement. plus, i think i have a couple of friends who would like to see my abusive self get humiliated while naked and in the mud. hi, kimi! thanks for your support! oh yeah, and summer ain't the only season for koko shirtless conditioning (here and here).

sorry, i got off task. anyhow, i don't think it will be all bad, dear hoon. and even if it is, do the selfless thing... show your patriotism, and please bring your fatigues home on those long weekends... xo

discovering korea #12: gangwondo road trip, day 1

2008-07-15T22:55:00.005+09:00

a very easily-accessed peak on seoraksan... no, we didn't make it to the summit.

transcript from my kbs world radio show, discovering korea.

last week, abby, hoon and i took a road trip in gangwon province. we spent a day in the mountains, a day at the beach and a day hugging giant penises. this is a retrospective on day 1 (read it here).

snapshot #11: sunset on the cheonggyecheon

2008-07-14T00:01:00.002+09:00

a pretty sunset on the jongno neighborhood stretch of the cheonggyecheon (click for larger).

as if you couldn't tell, i haven't been feeling particularly motivated to post of late... and when i do, it's kinda been garbage. sorry. hopefully a change of diet, a 10-degree temperature drop or one of my weekly electroshock treatments, might help. thanks for your patience.

big rain and manplan progress (of a kind)

2008-07-13T21:01:00.005+09:00

if ye ask He shall provide.

i complained about the lack of rain so jangma (the monsoons) responded last night with a spectacular deluge. perhaps this korean weather phenomenon respects that i come from a hometown well-known for rain (seattle). one friend suggested jangma has performance anxiety. (beyond the fact that weather isn't typically intimidated) this is unlikely since my town specializes in drizzle, not real rain.

so, after an early birthday shindig for my friend abby (more on that later), hoon and i had the strange idea of walking from the hookah joint (that's not a creative spelling for a prostitute) to the han river with no convenient route available. in what could only be described at times as a biblical downpour, we were quickly rendered head-to-toe wet. our wet walk's soundtrack was mariah, rihanna and clazziquai (gay!) on a shared ipod while under one or two umbrellas -brellas -brellas, just in case the rumors of korean acid rain causing baldness are true.

a coupla hours later we reached our destination, a particularly attractive stretch of riverside park near banpo in seocho-gu. it was the rainy wee hours of a sunday morning, so i was surprised to see a few older couples walking the path with us, but less surprised to see a parking lot chock full of young things' flings in progress. during an unusual let up in the rain we made our own naughty alongside a dead, floating carp. ominous messages, or more proof that jesus loves homos? please vote.

i'm melting.

2008-07-10T16:42:00.003+09:00

i've seen children removed from the custody of their parents for lesser evidence of neglect!

this past week the korea meterological administration issued heat warnings for much of the country. we're into our second week of high heat and humidity, which, from what i'm told, is thanks to a north pacific anticyclone from the tropics. perhaps the worst of it is the absence of sane temps once the sun goes down. what is typically a very pleasant, breezy summer evening in seoul has been replaced by sticky tropical nights, when the daily low temps are still in the upper 20s (low 80s F). it's hard to make progress on the manplan front when bedded skin-on-skin contact is excessively soppy.

of course, this pales when compared to the oppressive daylight hours, as parts of the peninsula have seen temps in the high 30s (100˚ F). the real kicker is when the heat combines with humidity, which is called the heat index. lately we've seen heat indexes of 41. too bad the kma says heatstroke can occur among the physically active when the index is as low as 32.

this explains why a 22-year-old female college student collapsed and died on monday. she was participating in a 1,133 kilometer (704 mile) x-country trek from seoul's cheonggye plaza to tongyeong in south gyeongsang province and then back to seoul. the trek was cancelled yesterday. she's not the only one who's succumbed. nine others drowned over the past few days as they tried to cool off in local swimming pools, lakes and rivers.

and speaking of water, where's the shiz that's supposed to fall from the sky? it's jangma (monsoon) season, but i haven't seen nary a drop since the inaugural squall back on june 17. this could be the worst leg-viewing season in recent memory. plus, my patio planters are in shock.