blet blet blet

in lieu of explaining why it's taken months to post, a pic from gangwon province's daegwalleong sheep ranch to sum it up. thanks to dan phan et al for the prompt!

oh, and i got me a one-eyed pup! more to come... sooon? xo

quick note... then more hiatus!

greetings, friends. no, dicky is still very much asleep. i thought he was dead but his groans suggest coma or hibernation. maybe he's a bear! anyhow, after a couple of glasses of homegrown sangria i recalled there's a blog of mine somewhere in dese parts. after a spontaneous review of my blog stats, it's not terribly motivating to find that blog traffic has remained static despite several weeks of null set posting. i guess random searches for "korean penis" and "donkey show" by frustrated middle easterners will happen regardless of timely updates. my solitary 30rock marathon is coming to an end. love stories kill me. so much on the man plan front i shudder to think. hasta! xo

hiatus

did you know that the happy gray boy located above is lucky? well, he is! as you can tell, he has his leopard print nightshades on. he's taking a nap. the open mouth ensures lots of drool. takes one to know one. anyhow, he'll be back in a bit. in the meantime, thanks for your patience. xo

olympics day 6: when to watch

thursday's olympic viewing docket:

10:30
wrestling
kim jung-sub will compete in the men's greco-roman 84-kg prelims (final at 18:00).
han tae-young ups the weight ante by competing in the 96-kg prelims (final at 18:30).

11:00
table tennis
the women's group is matched up against australia and japan while the men go at chinese taipei (um... you mean, TAIWAN?).

11:30
archery
the sorceresses continue their individual rounds today: joo hyun-jung goes against a frenchie at 11:30. yoon ok-hee challenges a chinese opponent at 12:09 and park sung-hyun goes against a greek at 13:01. the brackets make it possible for them to medal 1-2-3 in the medal rounds later today. stranger things have certainly happened.

12:00
artistic gymnastics
two koko are competing in the men's individual all-around: kim dae-eun, who won all-around silver in athens, and yang tae-young, who had his athens gold snapped away due to an unfortunate judging mistake.

13:00
judo
jang sung-ho competes with the big boys in the men's 100-kg prelims (final at 19:49).

19:30
badminton
men's singles quarterfinals featuring lee hyun-il and mixed doubles quarters with lee yong-dae and lee hyo-jung, who is also going for women's doubles gold, competing together.

olympics: outfit olympiad, part 2

i'm back for day 2. very low on cleverness today but broadcast garb must be chronicled!

do you think they'll notice we didn't go home last night?

team: kbs2
result: disqualified!
comments: hmmm... looks familiar... cause it's they're the same damn suits you wore yesterday! did you sleep under your desks last night? pink was surprising and wonderful yesterday. that's why you got the gold. two days in a row is unacceptable. you lose.

you hate each other.

team: kbs1
result: bronze medal
comments: you poor, sorry, unhappy people. two days and two bronzes. a) what's with korean guys and vests? anyhow, it's an improvement on yesterday but y'all still look like the least fun duo, hands down.

i wonder if he has matching pants.

team: sbs
result: silver medal
comments: thank goodness these cuties replaced the "shame of korea" that disqualified sbs yesterday. there's a fine line between fun pastels and an easter egg hunt with willy wonka. but, dammit, it's the olympics, so i'm appreciating the effort. he's adorable.

still the hottest pair. yummy.

team: mbc
result: gold medal!
comments: well, well... looking good, aren't we? nice work taming that hot red with conservative dark suits since there's like, wars going on and stuff. but on the home front, mamasan in charge! during their office sex (which we uncovered yesterday), he keeps up, but clearly she's giving orders. the ridiculously large station logos add a special tackiness that me likey. although i think heads should generally be longer than they are wide (sir), you win.

olympics day 5: just one shiny thang (at least it's gold)

nice work, cutie!

a fairly quiet day for soko on the medals front. off the top of my head, the men's football team was won't advance into the next round, there were some early table tennis victories and some good news was had on the hockey field and handball court.

in weightlifting, cute sa jae-hyouk won gold in the men's 77-kg (170 lbs) event. sure, he had a lower "snatch" score than li hongli of china, but his "clean and jerk" score was higher and he weighs 3 kgs less.

mr. kim looks like a pouting action doll, eh?

unfortunately, fellow soko kim kwang-hoon nabbed a medal-less fourth place.

i'd like a medal sweep for both genders, thanks!

all three of korea's archery mankubs have advanced to the quarterfinals after winning their individual 1/64 and 1/32 rounds today. lee chang-hwan, aka "hat man" beat his chinese competitor in the 1/32 by four points. his nearly perfect 117 out of 120 score set a 12-arrow olympic record. sexy park kyung-mo destroyed his brazilian 1/32 opponent 116-99 and im dong-hyun beat a qatari in his 1/32 elimination, 108-103. the next round matches begin 11:30 on friday.

in ladies' badminton, lee kyung-won and lee hyo-jung beat japan in just two sets and will face one of two chinese teams in the gold medal final on friday. on the men's side, lee jaejin and hwang ji-man also beat a japanese team to advance into the semi-finals.

you know what time it is. medal standings at the conclusion of day 5:
my my, it looks like the krauts are picking up golds left and right...

olympics day 5: jang watch! (jang art)

today's jang watch is dedicated to jang jang jang mi ran art. feel free to submit your own.

the weight of the world is under her shoulders. on, i mean it's on her shoulders.


she seems to be handling the heft of the world better in this one.


i think it says that eyes are too difficult (to draw).

olympics day 5: when to watch

good morning lovers. here's today's schedule of events featuring soko stars:

10:00
shooting
lee ho-lim goes for gold in the women's 25-meter pistol qualifications (final at 16:00)

10:30
wrestling
men's greco-roman 66-kg qualification featuring kim min-chul (medal rounds at 18:00).

11:00
archery
men's individual round of 64 and 32. watch team gold medalists
park kyung-mo, im dong-hyun and lee chang-hwan
try to make it on their own.

fencing
choi byung-chul competes in the men's individual foil round of 32 (medals start at 21:00)
jung hyo-jung competes in the women's individual epee round of 32 (medals start at 21:30)

table tennis
women's team group match vs. spain.
men's team group matches against sweden and brazil.

11:45
badminton
semifinals of the women's doubles competition featuring soko's lee kyung-won and lee hyo-jung. i like these ladies.

18:00
football
men's group match vs. honduras.

19:00
baseball
men's prelim match against the u-s-a.

olympics day 4: in summary, silver still sucks.

he's nodding the affirmative... but then he lost.

baby boy (kim jae-bum) battled a belorussian, a pole and a portuguese before meeting the flying (black) dutchman in the semifinals of the 81-kg judo contest. they were both super pooped. tied after three rounds, it was golden score time (sudden death). at one point, kim bumped his opponent's genitals, causing the injured to wince and double-over. but after jiggling his ballsack in front of the tv cameras, all seemed better. then they clawed on the mat in each others arms and legs for a few minutes, at which point li'l nips cajoled a point from his exhausted foe. it was on to the gold medal match where he lost a close 0-1 contest with a ukrainian. poops!

park with olympic mascot "beibei" in the backbackground. the similar colors suggest he's part of beibei's traveling circus.

it turns out park eun-cheol beat an iranian to take (one of) the bronze(s) in the 55 kg (121 lbs) greco-roman dry humping contest. i'm a little confused. thanks to the "repechage" loop hole, there be more than one bronze medalist? it's a shame i'm so poorly informed about athletics, the olympics, korean things, etc.

but, to make up for it, here's a "the more you know" edu-moment: i just learned today that the surname "park" (박) is shared by 9% of koreans, and it can be traced to one progenitor: king park hyeokgeose (박혁거세 거서간), who founded the silla dynasty in 57 BCE when he united 6 villages near present-day gyeongju. silla went on to defeat its neighbors to create the first unified korea.

scary hitzler.

ok, back to the campy olympics coverage.

just for kicks, kbs humiliated a moroccan woman by broadcasting her destruction by sorceress #1, park sung-hyun. i loved the "whoops!" face the lady made when her arrow hit black (4 out of 10 points). needless to say, she was kill-ded before park moved on to compete against a german named hitzler. no, i not kid! come to think of it, i watched a german gymnast this morning whose last name was "boy". anyhow, the german took an early lead. and with just 3 arrows left on each side, park was but one point ahead of hitzler! ... but then spells were cast, and miss-hitz miss-hit her final threesome. the upshot? the good witch park, whose chin sports a perma-line from her bow, emerged victorious!

hot and hunky... and really dramatic.

and finally, i was introduced to the hunky drama queen, lee bae-young. lee was super sexy in his spiderman outfit and a real medal contender- he won silver in athens. in fact, this time around, his "snatch" score was second highest, but it didn't matter since he failed in all three "clean & jerk" attempts.

wait, shouldn't he be standing?

strike 1: lee collapsed on attempt 1, apparently because of a leg cramp. more amusing was the five chinese youngsters who surrounded him with privacy barricades as he sat on stage while receiving a leg massage. strike 2: homedude comes back for try #2. another failure. he falls and blames the limbs. strike 3: he comes back, smiles and flirts with the stadium crowd to clap for him before he falls flat on his face. hot, but kinda lame, folks. the good news? the chinese who beat him is darn hot.

and, finally, in the "who gets ultimate control of dokdo" medal standings after 4 days:
little has changed... beyond soko expanding its lead over nihons, of course.

olympics: outfits of the 29th olympiad, part 1

while we await tonight's final scores, i'd like to alert you to another contest. beyond beijing's athletic competitions is a korean tv anchor outfit olympics. unlike back in the usa, one station didn't pay a bazillion dollars or a trazillion won to get exclusive rights to cover the games. this is a good thing for two reasons:

1) i can watch the anchors at kbs1, kbs2, mbc and sbs fashion-fight it out.

2) four stations makes it highly likely that park tae-hwan's gold medal swim is always being replayed... somewhere.

re: #1, today was the first day medals were given in the outfit olympics. the results were:

the shame of korea.

team: sbs
result: disqualified
comments: like inverted expected babies (huh?), he's pink, she's blue. she's crying because she's so upset. all those years of training and they didn't even get to compete!


trying too hard to impress the games' host nation.

team: kbs1
result: bronze medal
comments: oh my. this pauvre duo's fashion looks nerdy, red and uncool. in a word: "chinese".


today's silver may be tomorrow's scandal!

team: mbc
result: silver medal
comments: these two are adorable, but what's up with outfits, dudes. my fashion sense kinda sucks, but i think they look like members of competing ice dancing teams. c'mon folks, it's the summer olympics! but, they win silver because of their "i like working with you, but i like the heavy petting after work even better" look!

and, finally...


pretty in pink.

team: kbs2
result: gold medal
comments: i LOVE them. i see homedude at the kbs coffee shop every so often. we always make meaningful eye contact. he's kinda ug but charismatic. she's great in every way. their matching pink suits are phenomenal. they had his and hers white ones yesterday. a remarkable performance... they're unstoppable. competition? what competition?

olympics day 4a: jin goes gold! marine boy nabs silver!

great work, baby face!

sure, the american wunderbrute got the gold and a new world record. but the pride of soko, marine boy himself won second best with a time of 1:44:85 in the 200-meter freestyle. he special.

i love the hand-over-mouth.

my new crush is jin jong-oh, who looked sincerely surprised when he realized he won gold in the men's 50-meter pistol competition. he seemed to mouth "who, me?" when someone congratulated him. jin narrowly beat his norko brother by just .2 points. it's korea's first olympic shooting gold in 16 years. on sunday, jin took silver in the 10-meter event. he's so chill and cute. i just wish he'd ditch that beard of his... his wife, i mean (joke. they seem very happy together).

- - - intermission - - -
guess what? i had to go to work today! i know, right? for a whopping 2.5 hours, i was away from my computer, tv and camera. let's hope that doesn't happen again.

soko's next gold?

onto the mat, where 55-kg (121 lbs), greco-roman singlet-sporting park eun-cheol beat a dane and then an american named "mango" in the quarters, but lost to a ruskie in the semis 2-9. me thinks he'll meet an armenian in the bronze medal match-up at 6 pm tonight. in response to my obligatory hotness question, park ain't too shabby, but the body proportions that occur when a super-muscled dude weighs just 55 kgs are kinda scary in a mini-me type of way.

the big disappointment is that jung ji-hyun went out in the quarterfinals after losing his 3-round bout against a feisty kazak. jung, the gold medal winner in athens, was expected to repeat here.

winning is sexy.

after a grueling bout with a handsome portuguese dude, kim "tic-tac nipples" jae-bum won his preliminary contest in the 81 kg (178 lbs) approaching bonafide koko beefcake judo division. after 2 mins in the golden time, or whatever it is. beyond flipping, i still have no idea how points are granted in judo. in any case, the medals will be awarded around 8 pm tonight. i've never been one of those weirdos who worship silver dollar-sized nipples, but at least at least aspirin-sized, please! if we start dating, i'll try to focus on some other aspects of his otherwise accomplished physique.

olympics day 4: jang watch!

the gaze of a champion!

no real news to report on jang jang jang mi ran today except that i still love her and i love the love she is spreading around the world. why do you love her? please explain. thank you.

olympics day 4: when to watch

here's what and when soko's finest will be in action today (all times korean). a very homo-friendly morning, i must say:

11:00
archery
the sorceresses compete in the rounds of 64 and 32.

artistic gymnastics
the men's team final. the most homo-friendly sport there is.

badminton
mixed doubles and men's doubles, both round of 16.

11:16
swimming
marine boy park tae hwan goes for gold #2 in the men's 200-meter freestyle! he'll be up against the medal-hog michael phelps of the usa.

13:00
shooting
men's 50-meter pistol final. if he survives qualification rounds, jin jong-oh looks to improve on his silver in the 10-meter event.

17:30
field hockey
women's prelim match vs. them dutch.

18:00
wrestling
men's greco-roman: 55 kg (park eun-chul) and 60-kg (jung ji-hyun) finals (who doesn't like singlets?)

19:49
judo
men's 81-kg medal rounds. if he survives the prelims, maybe i'll find a new boyfriend (kim jae-bum).

20:00
handball
men's prelims against denmark.

olympics day 3: final report (sick of silver)

well, at least you got nice cheeks!

koreans like to think of themselves as the italians of asia. you know, peninsula, love of food, and, err "passionate" people. but thank goodness koreans are better sportmen and women than their euro brothers of another mother. geesh. what jerks!

anyhow, after quite a run, the 155 cm/45 kg- (5'1"/99 lbs) nam hyun-hee beat one italian but fell to another. the exciting match started with nam overcoming an 0-3 deficit. at the end of period 2, she was down by one. after a very tense 2.5 minute tete-a-tete, she nailed her opponent to tie it up again. she even went ahead for a hot second before falling behind in the last seconds to take home silver. silver is so much less fun than gold.

afterwards the italian coach was awkwardly carrying the victor around like she was... disabled. is that anyway an olympic champion should behave? i'm not bitter. anyway, here's an enjoyable piece of nam trivia:

turns out she was suspended from the soko national team in 2006 for 6 months for unauthorized cosmetic surgery. home girl got her eyelids doubled (permission was granted) and had fat injected into her cheeks (not granted). i can understand the temptation to get everything taken care of at once. but when she came back to training all puffy and had to sit out for a few days, her coaches wised up to procedure #2 and she was punished. only in korea!

and, finally: the medal standings after day 3:

jesus, talk about an unsavory foreign policy trio at the bottom!

soko maintains its #3 slot (korean tv pegs them at #2 since they have more golds than the usa. i love korea!) re: arch-nemesis japan, hmmm... what a difference a day makes...

olympics day 3: please respect our privacy during this difficult time.

dear kiki: daddy misses you!

oh my god. he killed my boyfriend!

the azerbaijani brute threw my wang ki-chun down by ippon almost before their bout began. i looked away, and when i turned back, mancandy was flat on his back! we've kept "us" a secret for a while, but now he needs me, and i can't really be there for him if we keep our love a secret. anyhow, when he comes home, we'll take a nice warm bath and then i'll let him flip me silly and have his way. i discovered long ago that's how we both win.

anyhow, silver for soko in the 73-kg judo competition. in mourning, here are some nice pics of kiki in and out of the office (yes, i'm the photographer!).

in civilian wear (i told him not to wear that tie... given our 9-year age difference, he tries to assert his power in the weirdest ways!).


look who's best friends with jang jang jang mi-ran! wait... are they getting married?


another day at the bus stop. oh wait, that last one just slipped in from my korean soft porn collection. sorry.

olympics day 3: half-time report: more archery gold and judo/fencing/handball advances...

yum.

today it was the dudes' turn in the team archery event. and tho they didn't dominate like their sister sorceresses did yesterday, they also won team gold by beating italy in a close final: 227-225. it was fun watching the nunas (big sisters) root for their little brothers in the final.

a momento for home.

park kyung-mo, im dong-hyun and lee chang-hwan are ranked 4-8-10 individually, so it's unclear if they'll bring home more medals during the individual contests on friday. the good witches? ranked 1-2-3, baby! i'm really looking forward to watching them sweep up on thursday.

aw, i think they're quite a cute trio.

apparently the audience sportsmanship training given to the chinese fans prior to the games didn't take root (i'm shocked!). fools were heckling and hollering to try and make our boys mess up. no such luck! for their part, tv coverage showed italian fans' bemused response to the passion of the korean audience. the cutest part was when park kyung-mo ran to fetch the target as a momento of their win!

i love her victory screams.

in other news, nam hyun-hee, who is ranked #4, advanced to the quarters where she conquered her japanese opponent (15-10). if she beats an italian in the semis, she'll spar for the gold in the women's individual foil event tonight!

hot hot hot!

20-year-old world champion jukoda hotstuff, wang ki-chun, advances into the finals for the 73-kg judo class after beating a sexy brazilian in the quarters and a kazak in the semis. the match is scheduled for later tonight!

finally, in women's handball, soko routed dogil (germany) 30-20 in its second preliminary match. hong jeong-ho scored 6 goals during the match, finding the net on 75% of her attempts. the soko ladies are the second in all-time handball medals and took silver in athens. they have three more prelim matches against sweden, brazil and hungary before the quarterfinals begin next week.

it's so fun to be able to watch the event live. from the bkgnd of my pics, can you tell it's a rainy day today?

olympics: jang watch!

i LOVE this pic!

thanks to enthusiastic responses by both judy and bdkymm, now i know i'm not the only one infatuated with jang... jang... jang mi-ran!

with your active participation, i hereby initiate "jang watch!", a daily, jang mi-ran joy management exercise as we await papa jang's impending gold medal performance in beijing. my sources tell me that the women's 75+ kg (165+ lbs) competition is set for saturday at 7 am chiner-time. that means we only gots a bit more than 5 days for "jang watch" and to mobilize her international fan club.

secretary judy?
president kim jong kymm?

are you ready?

it says i love her. i admit it. i ate the watermelon last night. but i don't think she should be eating watermelons anyway. they just make you pee.

what can you do? for example, this morning i rolled out of bed and ate half a watermelon... in bedhead, no less. i took this photo. now, it's your turn. koko-flow love global attention. jang mi-ran needs our support!

olympics day 2: the ladies' turn

i'm not sure why i think i'm the preeminent news outlet for homo-tinged soko olympic coverage, but... i do. and with my embarrassing snapshots of my tv screen as royalty-free art, i'm terribly "cutting-edge".

the foregone conclusion in women's team archery. i love how they kept wearing their visors despite the overcast sky... in koko, ain't no such thing as fun in the sun.

the sorceresses - park sung-hyun, yoon ok-hee and joo hyun-jung - beat china (was there ever any doubt?) 224-215 to win soko's sixth consecutive olympic gold in women's team archery. they set a new world record in their semi-final match. these ladies are fierce. you can tell they know they're going to win. yoon ok-hee sports full face makeup, a pink bow and a pink breast protector decorated with teddy bears and hearts. the french team... doesn't.

yoon ok-hee dominates in full maquillage.

the frenchies took bronze in archery but won gold in looking like stereotypical lesbatrons! congratulations!

koko fans are koko-krazy.

in other news, the 22-year-old yoon jin-hee won silver in the 53-kg weightlifting competition with a total of 213-kgs lifted. she was second to jaroenrattanatarakoon prapawadee of thailand (good lawd them thai names!). dear europe: short hair can be cute. see below!

the second cutest female wrestler i've seen thus far (who's #1? jang jang jang mi ran!).

since we have an extra moment, how about we check in on how our island-snatching neighbor to the east is doing?

wait. where's japan? i can't find it... oh, ok. there it is. waaay down past zimbabwe and belarus...

olympics day 2: marine boy wins gold!

marine boy does it!

his oma loses it!

18-year-old park tae-hwan becomes korea's first swimming medalist, winning the gold in the 400-meter freestyle with a time of 3:41.86.

it must feel nice after being disqualified for a false start in athens (he was only 14) and all the pressure that's been on him of late. good work, marine boy! collect dem endorsement won now. (btw: i think this is the fourth time kbs has replayed the race in the past 25 mins.)

update 12:03: medals ceremony

i guarantee the locals are eating up this hierarchy.


i get the feeling he may be on anti-depressants, but anyway, nice work!