30 April 2008

"thanks for discovering korea with me..."

that's why it's radio.

lately, i seem to have come into the good graces of my bosses at kbs world radio. per usual, i'm not sure why but it's better than the equally inexplicable times when they hate me. but so desperate am i for constructive criticism, that i've obeyed my producer's request to make my voice two octaves higher than what's natural. that, in combination with non-sensical overblown intonation makes me sound like a penis-less sociopath, which makes him smile and give me compliments, so i keep doing it.

perhaps to reward my swallowed pride, they've given me a new show, called "discovering korea with matt kelley" (the "with matt kelley" was an amusing surprise). starting last week, every saturday, i'll do a 3-5 minute snapshot of some spot of the korean peninsula. the clever among you will recognize that this sounds an awful lot like my "field trips," but on a national scale. indeed. god help me i'm becoming a professional travel writer!

i'm happy because it's a convenient complement to my travel-related blog posts and a great excuse to do more exploring... err discovering. plus, it's fun to host a (very brief) show that i've also written, instead of just reading someone else's copy. but most of all, i like saying at the end of every piece, "i hope you enjoyed discovering korea with me," at which point i make pouty lips as the camera zooms in. with any luck, a well-timed breeze will hike my skirt and then i can expose a li'l leg.

if you fancy brief sketches of places in korea, you can read the transcript of previous shows here, and if you're on a pc, you can listen to the show online. it's part of saturday's "worldwide friendship" program. if you write in to my producers to say just how much you enjoyed traveling with matt kelley, they'll probably let me host in a one-piece lycra number next month, in which case, everybody wins.


william (皓) said...

if it's a radio show, why is there a camera on you?

matt said...

um, there's always a camera on me, wills.

but long story short, mariah and i are doing this sorta tandem autobio-documentary project thing. her people knew my people, and just like in the multiple dreams i've had about her, we just kinda hit it off and despite her crazy schedule, the film project seemed like a good way to highlight her avant garde side while maintaining street cred (that's obviously where i came in). i'm just lucky i guess. have you done any film projects with mariah carey?

btw, thanks for not commenting on the skirt or the lycra. xo

william (皓) said...

wow, you and mariah. that sounds like fun. and no, of course i've never worked with mariah friggin carey. i don't know her like that.

are you like the go-to guy for mixed peoples? is daniel henney g-g-g-gay?

i think lycra is h-h-h-hot.

matt said...

i was joking. have you been in korea so long as to completely forget sarcasm?

of course mr. henney is... pause... (whisper) "g".

and i don't get the repeated first letter. xo

william (皓) said...

yeah, it makes me sound d-d-d-dumb.

and no, i didn't get the sarcasm. i was hoping for sarcasm (how jealous am i that you get to meet mariah carey?!), but didn't parse it out of your writing. i think it's because you're sarcastic ALL the time. you're probably 100% puerto rican.

and i'm sick.

C.Lou said...

I have picked out your debut outfit or is it your encore outfit? Anyways, just make sure you wear a thick headband and anklewarmers to complete the look.


Brian said...

congrats on the new show! that's awesome! i hope one of these days you will be able to end your show with, "wow, isn't korea amazing?" ahhhhh with your show, korea really IS "sparkling!"

matt said...

miss lou:

you are a true friend. whaddya think... gold, silver or black?

i'll admit that hosting in the silver seems to strike the best balance between classy and sexy. gold seems like a joke and black is too halle berry in catwoman, and we all know how horrible that movie was. yer thoughts?

matt said...

thanks, brian.

amazing, sparkling, twinkling, bedazzling... korea is all this and much much more.

ps i'm trying to finagle some air tickets to be in LA for pride... will you be there? xo

matt said...

and, mr. william, dear chile, i hope your bf is in servant mode to ensure your rapid recovery. sick sucks. xo

Brian said...

yes yes, will be hurr. lemme know if you need a place to crash. just don't bring home leather daddies, please. dykes on bikes i can do. thanks.

matt said...

thanks. i just hosted a senior canadian lesbian at my apt for 2 days. i'm sure i can persuade you to let me bring a bear and a coupla cubs back to your k-town pad, right? xo