where am i?

where am i?

i love this photo and caption on today's nytimes homepage.

impromptu jesusland!

is impromptu jesusland better than no jesusland at all?

apparently i'm at that age when one's parents have catastrophic illness since i'm flying out in a few hours to help pops convalesce after an aneurysm/stroke. i don't know the difference yet. early signs suggest he had the good kind of good kind of stroke, which is... good. regardless of our ability/willingness to deal, perhaps nothing else ushers in middle age more than beginning the parent care biznass. that's why we're here, right? those of you in the priors, celebrate! those of you in the know (ms. californication), well... i dunno what to say.

i've been bizzy. (clearly)

i love japanese gay porn so much.

i imagine most aliens are tops. it's pretty toppy to leave your galaxy in search of new "worlds" to conquer.

gapers

owls are totally strange.

sure, we all hate twitter (iran notwithstanding) but i chuckled at this page, which popped up after i attempted to check the account of someone who subscribed to my never been updated account. both the initial line for all us gawkers (fancy that... twats are more likely to be TMI producers and consumers!!) and the lil indulgence memo at the bottom. the use of "juicy" ruined it tho. only mr kim can pass that.

the king is safe

college dorm?

speaking of the king, over the weekend i accompanied the fam to where manpup will be stationed for the better part of two years (who is this strange old man who keeps stalking our son?).

after 2 months and a day a carefully stage managed reunion was frustrating. phone and visiting privileges will start soon, which means a bittersweet end to the almost daily letter exchange, that while forced upon us, was special. maybe i should don a red and white checkered hankochief, flex a gun and help the war effort?

"little amurrika" was complete with lots of white and black people who were strangely polite to we korean hosts in passing. military ain't all bad. we ate us some grubbinz at the most authentically u.s.a. establishment i seen since moses lake. mmmm porterhouse chop with bbq sauce + 2 sides: baked potato no cheese and collared greens.

in other news, i'm taking some emotional cues from don draper of mad men, season 1.

komos, part 2

here are two recent articles i wrote about komos for the gaysian supersite, fridae.com. (and yes, i realize i've lost the ability to write coherently. yes, i'm worried.)

10 yrs of korea queer culture festival
your complete guide to koko trannies
(translations by the king!)

komos, part 1

it's that time of year again. i arrived at the 10th annual korea queer culture festival cranky and ready to have all of my korean homo pathologies confirmed. but then i saw the boys and girls of rateen, the korean teen queer group did their very naughty dancing on stage and the 50-something guy who looked just like any other cranky ajussi (middle aged man)... except for his bright red lipstick and 50-something boyfriend.

back in love.

a lil french, a lil harajuku, a lil amish... global korea!

this doesn't really make sense, but seems like it should!

a coupla homos representing one of korea's oldest gay men's groups, chingusai ("between friends")

prep

you gotta fight for your rights! (but please don't take my photo) a ubiquitous, frustrating and... i guess... understandable part of korean "pride" events is that most people don't want their pics captured.

[photo removed by request of someone on behalf of someone else on behalf of someone else else who thought those pictured probably wouldn't want to be identifiable. welcome to korea.]

restored my faith in (korean) homo humanity. founded 2 years prior by two homo teens, the 2,000 member strong youth queer group rateen is helping ensure the next generation of komos won't be as messed up in the head as the last!

i'd take buddhists over christians any day.

thanks, dad.

ok, time to get ready for part two: bootyshaking with the ladies at the pulse after party. wish my special man could come ㅜ ㅜ

snapshot #20: flying over gyeonggi province

fun in flight

filming for an arirang tv travel show included flying a ULM over some fields in gyeonggi province and over the west sea in amnyeondo. despite a horrible producer, it was fun.

new friends

my soldier

i'm quite green thumbed. at age 12 i co-founded a plant company and went solo the year after. the biz - the rolling bay company - sold seeds, daffodil bulbs and bedding plants to rich ladies around the puget sound (seattle area).

my three terrace planters bring me much joy. it's been challenging to adapt to seoul's wacky climate, but still fun. i just bought 6 tomato plants earlier this week. but to my horror, my plants are always infested with some kind of disgusting insect. i don't know if this is what happens when there's a general lack of greenery in an area or a petty god, but my plants are super buggy.

the real tragedy has been my korean pine. the gorgeous young thang looked marvelous last year, before a lacewing infestation almost killt it. as it sickened, entire branches had to be removed and a curious blanket of tiny grains formed beneath its boughs... turns out it was millions and millions of tiny caterpillar craps.

hate

these bastards are back again this year, but i've done my cruelest best to drown, crush, and cast them from my balcony. their screams bring me joy.

nasty

the other persistent foe are disgusting aphid colonies that ravage my chrysanthemums and, i'm so sorry to say, my pal pine. the little monsters park their teeth into the new growth and suck away at baby's life force. 

i'm loathe to use anything toxic to kill these pests, but the insecticidal soap i've been using is only mildly effective. consequently i have great appreciation for my two best friends (no, not whiskey and sim city. that was last year and didn't help). my friends are the chatty little finches who come by each morning to snack on the aphid's fat asses and a new sect of mormon ladybirds!

my chinese american ladybugs

i don't know their real names, so i've given them chinese american ones. while koko americans tend to be named after god things (aka esther, grace, jason), and japanese after... well, japanese names, the chinee seem to have a predilection for obscure, pompous british-ish names from the 19th century. why are they mormon? i don't know.

the second generation

the good news are these little yellow pods of ladybird eggs. i'm so happy for Amabel and her mystery inseminator. Audrey-Vivian also has a pod. but poor grand Vic may be barren. anyhow, i hope you'll join me in chronicling the lives of these pious chinee.

the seoul of design

here's a video of various design projects (including the previous post's bridge) seoul city has embarked on, via my kbs show, seoul scene.

snapshot #19: pretty bridge

summertime

i'm the worst blogger in the world.

anyhow, after two dry runs, on the third time i made my way down to the banpo bridge 'tis what i saw.

rip president roh

rip

on may 29 the state funeral for former president roh mu-hyun was held at gyeongbok palace in downtown seoul. after an aggressive, politically-tinged investigation into an alleged bribery scheme, mr. roh leaped from a cliff near his home in the korean countryside. in the days since, millions have paid their respects, including hundreds of thousands who came to the came to the area around city hall, donning yellow, the color from his 2003 presidential campaign.

one of many tribute altars.

in familiar korean fashion, mourners lamented their detachment, even disdain for the man while in office, but a collective grief has overtaken a nation now grateful for the self-described "idiot" president who brought true democracy and championed the causes of society's less fortunate. as a self-educated attorney (no college but passed the bar), he fought for the rights of abused student protestors. as president, he worked to improve relations with north korea and was just one of two south korean presidents who isn't described as being a dictator. many agree that the current president, lee myung-bak, is moving toward the bad ole days.

suicide is viewed differently here. i don't know enough about fmr president roh to offer a balanced critique of his presidency. in my first months here, i recall the heavy critique and embarrassment many voiced about it. but overnight, roh's image has been transformed into self-less hero. i've heard korean fathers say his suicide was a logical response to a husband and father who felt he could not protect his family, as the prosecution's probe widened to his wife and children. many others are fearful for the future of soko's young democracy.

this academic we interviewed blames herself for not protecting roh.

a couple of days earlier, my kbs co-host abby rhodes and i interviewed a few mourners for our show. listen here

jumpin rope wit jesus

no rope talent

just back from another of my occidental jesusland tours. the ill-timed trip was made possible by a speaking invite, which was rescinded last minute in very poor form. anyhow, popular hops were made in chicago, seattle and tokyo with a special stop in los angeles to see mr. brian, half-chinee and jericho (the latter pleased jesus very much). actually, the lovely company during the california stop salvaged an otherwise ill-fated trip. oh well, not all homecomings are sweet.

spring here

about damn time.

on monday the south korean army drafted the king. i'm a bit in the doldrums but keepin on here in ko-town.

exodus pix #4: germama

cooler here than how it really looks!

it's so painful. the more i recall my european travels the more i'm glad i'm no longer there. but germany was a (the?) highlight. i appreciated berlin's grit, and essen's manfriends. enough already. pics to follow.

oh, one more thing. i wrote a post on the korean diaspora in berlin on my korean travel blog. see it hurr.

the cologne cathedral and i are in love. i haven't seen anything as impressive of late. i don't even like god!

the crazier than thou tascheles building 'n grounds is trying really really hard to make a statement.

the cool part about staying in a hostel that was formerly part of the north korean embassy is the snapshots of the dear leader in his jump suits and chanel shades. i'm way too old to be staying in hostels.

this day o' domestic bliss at jonstoph haus seemed more appropriate than snapshots taken moments after i arrived, parked my ass on their chair, and we finished off more than one bottle of chivas. i still have an 8 inch scar on my arm from what followed.

team kymm solidarity

members of team kymm's south korean chapter.

soko homo power for ms. body by bd kymm on her byg day. we're so excited for your new start!! love u.

she spots

well, now i know where i want to park.

as reported on today's edition of "seoul calling" on kbs with abby and matt, seoul city is creating 7,500 parking spots just fer tha girls. sure, they'll be close to elevators and be lit 24-hours for security's sake, but my favorite explanation is this quote from the korea times:

the spaces will be painted pink with emblems of women [arguable] in the center. the special parking lots will be longer and wider than normal parking spaces. [emphasis and commentary mine]

i assume they mean "slots" or "spots" not "lots." anyway, ummm... why? cause women can't drive? i haven't noticed any significant difference in driving talent by sex in korea. i have, however, realized that asians drive so much better in asia than they do in the usa. it must be the racism. 

in other transportation segregation by sex news, previous plans to introduce she-only subway cars came and went without me seeing any carriages sans men grinding against hapless females during rush hour. qu'est qui s'est passé? (sorry for the gratuitous french. in apology, please accept this tagalog, courtesy of google translate: ano ang nangyari?) given the grope stories i've heard about (mostly not in tagalog), i wonder where that idea went. maybe to the korea sparkling global hub where every other defunct idea goes.

anyhow, most korean drivers have a oneness with their always spotless vehicles (that are invariably either black, white or silver) than any generalized people matt's met to date. their maneuverability is awesome. sorry for the lack of coherence. xo

smoothies and menstruation go together

a really cool free gift.

it felt like spring today. and by that i mean it was warm and the sky was filled with horrible dust particles from china. but after seoul's siberian winter the mild weather felt like smoothies were in order. and smoothie king has this great promotion right now. buy a smoothie and get a free maxi pad! and it has wings! and since there we were two dudes together she gave us two free maxi pads. awesome! and is it just me or is it really gross to think about menstruation while drinking a smoothie? i love korea!

unsolicited emails, part 1

of course i am.

just received this email. in case you're wondering, i have no idea what she's talking about. tho i'm quite tempted to do a crash course in texan butterflies and try my luck. i wonder if they'd pay for roundtrip airfare from korea for "the butterfly man"?

UPDATE 3/17: i emailed her back to say i was interested, but located in korea. she said it was too far. it's probably a good thing. i did a little research and there are a LOT of butterflies in texas.

exodus pix #3: stockholm

"nesta... stockholm!"

since i'm such a shitty blogger, and thanks to impatient transplant germaphiles, all i can assemble is exodus pics encore. but before allemagne, here's stockholm and vicinity. it was really cold. really dark. but still a lovely city with smart and pretty people.

hot.

winter recess in stockhom. no, really. those are children playing outside in reflective vests at 3 pm.

the moderna museet displays an impressive collection of modern art in simple exhibits that don't try too hard. the adjoining architecture museum had great exhibits on local design as well as photos of gaudi's cathedral in barcelona, not to mention a great gift shop.

the lil island of gamla stan was fun. disneyland x2 in what already looked a bit like disneyland. sorry, i know this is why people hate americans.

gorge door.

as luck would have it, i met a swede for a hot second in korea and invited him to my birthday dinner. 2 months later i'm staying at his home, no matter that he was traveling at the time. his house was way out west. and like my london couchsurfing experience, it was great to see life outside perfectville downtown. the tram was filled mostly with middle eastern and african immigrants. totally not the aryan swedes i had expected.

another snapshot from the hood.