the king's personal effects

the toiletry bag.

henceforth when asked to describe him, i will simply say, "fancy lotion + candy."

baby it's cold outside

i love this time of year (click for larger)!

taking off for a 2-week stint in jesusland tomorrow.

but before i leave, here's a lil 'tis the season pic. whenever it gets really cold (and it's been really cold), korea's armed forces take their shirts off to show how tough they are. as a fervent leg fetishist, i think really tough guys take their pants off, too.

maybe next year!

so, which one do you like best?

remember this time last year?
or the good ole days of 2007?

thanks, shilla.

thanks to language barriers, the king and i prefer to communicate via espresso art.

a birthday is a great excuse to do the shilla lunch buffet, a 60,000-won ($48) date with painful gluttony. ma tum feels permanently stretched. happy birthday queen abby! xo

i've been bizzy. (clearly)

i love japanese gay porn so much.

i imagine most aliens are tops. it's pretty toppy to leave your galaxy in search of new worlds to conquer.

the king is safe

college dorm?

speaking of the king, over the weekend i accompanied the fam to where manpup will be stationed for the better part of two years (who is this strange old man who keeps stalking our son?).

after 2 months and a day a carefully stage managed reunion was frustrating. phone and visiting privileges will start soon, which means a bittersweet end to the almost daily letter exchange, that while forced upon us, was special. maybe i should don a red and white checkered hankochief, flex a gun and help the war effort?

"little amurrika" was complete with lots of white and black people who were strangely polite to we korean hosts in passing. military ain't all bad. we ate us some grubbinz at the most authentically u.s.a. establishment i seen since moses lake. mmmm porterhouse chop with bbq sauce + 2 sides: baked potato no cheese and collared greens.

in other news, i'm taking some emotional cues from don draper of mad men, season 1.

komos, part 2

here are two recent articles i wrote about komos for the gaysian supersite, fridae.com. (and yes, i realize i've lost the ability to write coherently. yes, i'm worried.)

10 yrs of korea queer culture festival
your complete guide to koko trannies
(translations by the king!)

komos, part 1

it's that time of year again. i arrived at the 10th annual korea queer culture festival cranky and ready to have all of my korean homo pathologies confirmed. but then i saw the boys and girls of rateen, the korean teen queer group did their very naughty dancing on stage and the 50-something guy who looked just like any other cranky ajussi (middle aged man)... except for his bright red lipstick and 50-something boyfriend.

back in love.

a lil french, a lil harajuku, a lil amish... global korea!

this doesn't really make sense, but seems like it should!

a coupla homos representing one of korea's oldest gay men's groups, chingusai ("between friends")

prep

you gotta fight for your rights! (but please don't take my photo) a ubiquitous, frustrating and... i guess... understandable part of korean "pride" events is that most people don't want their pics captured.

[photo removed by request of someone on behalf of someone else on behalf of someone else else who thought those pictured probably wouldn't want to be identifiable. welcome to korea.]

restored my faith in (korean) homo humanity. founded 2 years prior by two homo teens, the 2,000 member strong youth queer group rateen is helping ensure the next generation of komos won't be as messed up in the head as the last!

i'd take buddhists over christians any day.

thanks, dad.

ok, time to get ready for part two: bootyshaking with the ladies at the pulse after party. wish my special man could come ㅜ ㅜ

let's make connections: a post on 2007 kqcf

hi!

"in mild" what? ... pain? shock? confusion that you try to solve this problem by posting it online? go to a vet asshole.

inspired per usual by mr. kristin st. hayden (it just sounds better) i decided to wear a maniacal smile at all times today. after all, life is good. but i was confronted by no less than three self-laughing crazies. so, like a dopamine-tapped flight attendant, four hours later daddy came home and needed juice.

it's a good story, but with my real daddy + wife visiting last week, i made a big ole batch of asian pear n' panapple sangria. well, the anticipated guests never made it to my apt. so it's been job 1 licking my red-stained tupperware tub clean. too bad the king isn't hear to reap the rewards of his invention: the booze-infused impaled strawberry.

tomorrow is 2 yrs in korea day!

i'm learning how to fly tomorrow as part of my big debut on a korean tv show. in the meantime, it's time to write about local trannies. xo

spring here

about damn time.

on monday the south korean army drafted the king. i'm a bit in the doldrums but keepin on here in ko-town.

happy v-day

happy v-day y'all.

my sister sent this to me and i could have sworn they were her creations. anyhow, howdy from gimpo airport... the king and i are going to jeju island. we did a dry run yesterday but our flight was cancelled due to inclement weather. so far so good today. more posts and pics to come. xo

snapshot #18: gyeongbok palace. still pretty in the dead season

good lawd korea can be pretty when it tries. on the gyeongbok palace compound last wednesday with the king (click for larger).

man plan: long live the king!

we met via a website whose name is so horrible i can't bear to share it. no, it's not jdate.com. and no, i'm not anti-semitic. jesus christ, some artistic leeway please!

despite it's many entertaining twists, turns and slaps, i'm here to announce that manplan 2008 has ended. it's not only because it's '08 namesake has ended or because seung-ri from big bang has become too famous to return my phone calls, but because, lo and mofo beho-ld... i'm coupled.

let's harken back to that warm afternoon on sept. 17th when i wasn't fat but dressed like a convicted g.i. on work release (does that exist?). sure, i'm the mix-blooded descendant of north korean pig farmers and he's part of korea's last royal family. it's totally prince and the pauper. lucky for me, i hear that royals the world over these days rebel via shenanigans with the peasant class. thanks to his korean fluency, my washing machine got fixed a few days back.

oh, and don't worry. i'm well aware of how annoying blogging homos with boyfriends usually are. consequently, i'll do my best to seem single and will keep rapidly aging all the same.

armed forces update

i feel safer now.

i realize i've been playing favorites with the south korean armed forces. two years running i've posted the army mens frolicking in the snow (here and here). but soko has a diverse array of defense personnel, so today i'd like to honor my special man friends in the korean navy. despite spying a coupla flabby tummies up front (look who's talking these days), i'm really feeling the navy's navy short shorts.

my secret slob friend

a better guest.

since i would be in occidental jesusland for 6 weeks i thought it a nice and mostly harmless gesture to offer my apartment to a fellow homo half-breed ko-am whose lease was expiring a month before his return to the usa. i did the same thing last year and my friend appreciated the respite from his parents' marriage inquiries. sure, he neglected my tree to death, but lots of people kill plants.

but on this go around, something felt amiss when i didn't receive correspondence from my temp-tenant. no "hi, i've arrived!" email, no "kaching! found your japanese porn stash while snooping on your computer, sicko!" memo. more remarkable was seeing the words "back in the usa" next to his name on msn messenger on jan. 2. nope, i never got a "thanks. i left your key (specify location)."

upon my return, what i did receive reminded me of a dirty person's home just prior to a modern pompeii. massive calamity... no time to clean... must escape! or, perhaps i should view what remained as prizes.

a top 10 list of my free goodies:

#10. a dvd player. shockingly useful!
#9. two big dirty blankets i get to dispose of!
#8. wall-to-wall tumble weed-esque dust bunnies!
#7. a box of heating pads for muscle pain!
#6. new grey bathroom tiles and pink grout. oh wait, that's just bacteria in bloom!
#5. butter!
#4. one pair of dirty superman underwear!
#3. a full load of wet laundry left marinating for 2 weeks!
#2. a piece of toilet paper stuck to toilet seat with a little brown sumthin sumthin!

and, my favorite:

#1. a loofa, because i can't wait to combine my dead skin cells with yours!

had i offered my place to a testicled dog, there may have been musty crotch spray marking strategic corners. but at least dogs don't use loofas or washing machines. furthermore, i find it hard to believe that even a golden retriever in mid-molt could have shed more pubic hair on my floor. i guess that's not fair. i don't think dogs have bonafide pubic hair.

in summary, i don't think it's right that people can be secret slobs. filth should not be a secret, cleanliness mustn't be a scam. much like my floor, his skin should be covered in snowfall-like layer of dust and he should smell like rotting laundry. if so, in this righteous world of my fantasies, i'd know better than to lend him my keys. 

mean spirited, you tsk? not so! if society's scorn made him too sad, he could then clean his home (and mine), and his body would cleanse in tandem! everybody wins in my world.

but until then, thanks for the loofa!! henceforth, i'm going to make a habit of leaving a used one every place i spend the night. thanks, kenny!

dicky on my couch?

a gay taiwanese named dicky has requested my couch for monday evening. should i oblige? is it a trap?

olympics day 3: please respect our privacy during this difficult time.

dear kiki: daddy misses you!

oh my god. he killed my boyfriend!

the azerbaijani brute threw my wang ki-chun down by ippon almost before their bout began. i looked away, and when i turned back, mancandy was flat on his back! we've kept "us" a secret for a while, but now he needs me, and i can't really be there for him if we keep our love a secret. anyhow, when he comes home, we'll take a nice warm bath and then i'll let him flip me silly and have his way. i discovered long ago that's how we both win.

anyhow, silver for soko in the 73-kg judo competition. in mourning, here are some nice pics of kiki in and out of the office (yes, i'm the photographer!).

in civilian wear (i told him not to wear that tie... given our 9-year age difference, he tries to assert his power in the weirdest ways!).


look who's best friends with jang jang jang mi-ran! wait... are they getting married?


another day at the bus stop. oh wait, that last one just slipped in from my korean soft porn collection. sorry.

man plan: for love of country

my my, i think i should cleanse that nasty scratch on your rippling abdomen (pic from the joongang daily).

to celebrate (memorialize?) man plan's most promising but impossible prospect, i'd like to honor mr. hoon with some posts prior to his untimely departure.

you see, in about two weeks, the man plan allstar will leave civilian life for a 22-month stint in the korean army. much like his brethren above, he, too, will be forced to mud wrestle half-nekkid with his nation's most virile under the sweltering summer sun.

photos like this one make me think perhaps it's my patriotic half-duty to volunteer as his replacement. plus, i think i have a couple of friends who would like to see my abusive self get humiliated while naked and in the mud. hi, kimi! thanks for your support! oh yeah, and summer ain't the only season for koko shirtless conditioning (here and here).

sorry, i got off task. anyhow, i don't think it will be all bad, dear hoon. and even if it is, do the selfless thing... show your patriotism, and please bring your fatigues home on those long weekends... xo

big rain and manplan progress (of a kind)

if ye ask He shall provide.

i complained about the lack of rain so jangma (the monsoons) responded last night with a spectacular deluge. perhaps this korean weather phenomenon respects that i come from a hometown well-known for rain (seattle). one friend suggested jangma has performance anxiety. (beyond the fact that weather isn't typically intimidated) this is unlikely since my town specializes in drizzle, not real rain.

so, after an early birthday shindig for my friend abby (more on that later), hoon and i had the strange idea of walking from the hookah joint (that's not a creative spelling for a prostitute) to the han river with no convenient route available. in what could only be described at times as a biblical downpour, we were quickly rendered head-to-toe wet. our wet walk's soundtrack was mariah, rihanna and clazziquai (gay!) on a shared ipod while under one or two umbrellas -brellas -brellas, just in case the rumors of korean acid rain causing baldness are true.

a coupla hours later we reached our destination, a particularly attractive stretch of riverside park near banpo in seocho-gu. it was the rainy wee hours of a sunday morning, so i was surprised to see a few older couples walking the path with us, but less surprised to see a parking lot chock full of young things' flings in progress. during an unusual let up in the rain we made our own naughty alongside a dead, floating carp. ominous messages, or more proof that jesus loves homos? please vote.

snapshot #10: why i love korea

just got back last night from a 3-day trip around gangwon province. this was a highlight. details to come.

a fond farewell

mr. kim will be missed.

over the past few weeks i've hosted three farewell parties for friends who are leaving korea. last night was hyochul's turn. later this week he'll make his way to australia for a master's program and his beau. he's lots of fun and the best drinker i've ever met, so the evening was a fun few hours among an intimate group of guys (all korean/korean-ish save 2) and one white chick from the midwest usa (hey, girl!).

after what was a fairly disastrous yay gay! party at the end of may, it was nice to enjoy having people in my home again. despite it being before 12 on a saturday night in a building filled mostly with young folk, i got yet another noise complaint. my friend hoon explained that the house party is a bit of a foreign concept to most koreans.

homo hijinx.

the party's success was due to 3 things: the guests' affection for hyochul, his excellent taste in friends, and some absurdly delicious sangria i cooked up the day prior. it was a huge improvement on my last attempt, which i can only think was thanks to the scotch. whisky makes everything better. so if a summer party plan is in your future, may i suggest the following:

mmm... fruit juice!

nice day's summer sangria

booze:

5 bottles of red wine (a spanish/latin american variety is a nice touch)
4 cups triple sec
6 shots scotch whiskey (or brandy)

peel and slice:

3 apples
3 oranges
2 lemons (squeeze 'em!)
2 asian pears (please don't call them japanese)
3 nectarines (invented by koreans, i might add)
4 kiwis
4 cups of frozen strawberries

...stir and then let it marinate in the refrigerator for 24 hours to the fruit can become fully infused with the likker. 30 minutes prior to serving bring her out and add lots of ice. stir some more. garnish with a few edible nasturshim flowers to celebrate homosexuality. if your friends are lushes like mine are, a big bin should last 10 your guests about 3 hours, tops.

yup, we did.

maybe it's just cause we were drunk, but continually adding more red wine and whiskey throughout the night still tasted pretty good. i chock that up to how thoroughly the fruit was marinated. to stick with the spanish-ish theme, i think next time we'll try mojitos.

...and a few hours later at the every-saturday, 02:30 drag show at itaewon's trance:

that's me asking to be let up onto the stage.

have fun with your summer parties!