12 August 2008

olympics day 4: in summary, silver still sucks.

he's nodding the affirmative... but then he lost.

baby boy (kim jae-bum) battled a belorussian, a pole and a portuguese before meeting the flying (black) dutchman in the semifinals of the 81-kg judo contest. they were both super pooped. tied after three rounds, it was golden score time (sudden death). at one point, kim bumped his opponent's genitals, causing the injured to wince and double-over. but after jiggling his ballsack in front of the tv cameras, all seemed better. then they clawed on the mat in each others arms and legs for a few minutes, at which point li'l nips cajoled a point from his exhausted foe. it was on to the gold medal match where he lost a close 0-1 contest with a ukrainian. poops!

park with olympic mascot "beibei" in the backbackground. the similar colors suggest he's part of beibei's traveling circus.

it turns out park eun-cheol beat an iranian to take (one of) the bronze(s) in the 55 kg (121 lbs) greco-roman dry humping contest. i'm a little confused. thanks to the "repechage" loop hole, there be more than one bronze medalist? it's a shame i'm so poorly informed about athletics, the olympics, korean things, etc.

but, to make up for it, here's a "the more you know" edu-moment: i just learned today that the surname "park" (박) is shared by 9% of koreans, and it can be traced to one progenitor: king park hyeokgeose (박혁거세 거서간), who founded the silla dynasty in 57 BCE when he united 6 villages near present-day gyeongju. silla went on to defeat its neighbors to create the first unified korea.

scary hitzler.

ok, back to the campy olympics coverage.

just for kicks, kbs humiliated a moroccan woman by broadcasting her destruction by sorceress #1, park sung-hyun. i loved the "whoops!" face the lady made when her arrow hit black (4 out of 10 points). needless to say, she was kill-ded before park moved on to compete against a german named hitzler. no, i not kid! come to think of it, i watched a german gymnast this morning whose last name was "boy". anyhow, the german took an early lead. and with just 3 arrows left on each side, park was but one point ahead of hitzler! ... but then spells were cast, and miss-hitz miss-hit her final threesome. the upshot? the good witch park, whose chin sports a perma-line from her bow, emerged victorious!

hot and hunky... and really dramatic.

and finally, i was introduced to the hunky drama queen, lee bae-young. lee was super sexy in his spiderman outfit and a real medal contender- he won silver in athens. in fact, this time around, his "snatch" score was second highest, but it didn't matter since he failed in all three "clean & jerk" attempts.

wait, shouldn't he be standing?

strike 1: lee collapsed on attempt 1, apparently because of a leg cramp. more amusing was the five chinese youngsters who surrounded him with privacy barricades as he sat on stage while receiving a leg massage. strike 2: homedude comes back for try #2. another failure. he falls and blames the limbs. strike 3: he comes back, smiles and flirts with the stadium crowd to clap for him before he falls flat on his face. hot, but kinda lame, folks. the good news? the chinese who beat him is darn hot.

and, finally, in the "who gets ultimate control of dokdo" medal standings after 4 days:
little has changed... beyond soko expanding its lead over nihons, of course.

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