27 May 2008

man plan 2008: 11 weeks in the shitter

wish i made this (click for larger).

last month i shared my man plan 2008, and i greatly appreciated your enthusiastic interest. thanks to your generous response, i feel greater kinship with you. in fact, i now see my pursuit of a man companion a "we" quest, not just a "me" endeavor, and it's with this in mind that i provide this update:

man plan 2008 is in shambles.

of the 22 prospective mankubs whose online and in-person shenanigans i've tracked faithfully over 81 days, only 4 remained in play when official tabulations were stopped on may 15th. of them, 1 is in a relationship (i'm no home-wrecker), and three i've yet to meet... reason enough to be taken out of consideration, me thinks. after almost 3 months and 38 unproductive dates, it's time to start over.

aside from orange, it all looks like a bad investment.

it's not all bad. in the process, i had dinner and coffee with a hunky, self-described moron, was slapped, and got assaulted in one of those sticker-photo booths popular among teens. the last two were with the same guy. i'm glad he moved overseas. and while three contestants smacked of dating potential, "blue" turned out to be a non-reciprocator socially and sexually, "orange" was (is) lovely but we are incompatible, and "brown" turned out to be a big tease.

this coffee bean on the street level of the frasier suites in jongno is known as "gay bean" to the scores of homos who assemble here in the dark hours. located near the 100+ gay bars in old jongno's back alleys, it's a convenient haunt that i should incorporate into my summer dating retinue.

it's my fault. as a homebody, i rely too heavily on the internet. instead, i should take advantage of korea's many gay speed dating and group date "cafés", where i could experience the absurdity i proclaim to enjoy. or, i could accompany my friends to house parties and... meet... people. but even given a change in strategy, time is running out. i'm still partner-less for the fast-approaching penis festival (i'm not referring to this weekend's seoul "pride" parade).

on sunday i'll be usa-bound. but upon my return, i'll try again. cuz papa ain't getting any younger. but man plan will re-emerge tweaked with revised guidelines, a new point system, and a shiny roster of new mankubs. maybe it's a little bit weird that most won't be aware of their participation, but any korean guy interested in dating an almost-30, mixed-race, american homo, aspiring writer is already engaged in a neurotic OCD experiment.


william (皓) said...

they call the coffee bean in downtown daegu 'gay bean' too. how strange.

have a safe trip. hope you get some in the states.


Abby Rhodes said...

True story: I'm sitting in beautiful, sunny Kauai, kicked back with a Corona Light, complete with lime. My laptop is nearby and I think, "I wonder if Matt's updated his blog recently." With four other vacationers in close proximity, I open your blog, see the title of this post, and say (out loud), "Oooooh yeah!" Thankfully, three or four days into the trip my companions are pretty much over my frequent outbursts of excitement, so no one bothered to inquire what the commotion was about.

So, long story long, I'm happy to get an update in writing. Can't wait to see you in Tokyo!

matt said...

wills: i will get none in the states... which is totally ok since the thought is unsettling... not quite as unsettling as the cheonggukjang, but convulsive, nonetheless.

miss rhodes: a very nice snapshot. since me thinks you're a free agent nowadays, let's plan a man plan in tandem, k? xo